Chewin in the Chung

In politics news:

Rudy Giuliani said that Democrats want a nanny government. This is patently untrue, and I object to this kind of wanton defamation of my political party. What we Democrats want is a hot babysitter government, like Elaine from across the street who used to babysit at my house back in 1979. A government like Elaine would not hassle anyone, just talk on the phone and paint it's bureaucratic toenails bright pink. As long as the American people do not actually try to burn the house down, the hot babysitter government won't do anything except provide years of fantasy material to our 12 year-old psyches.


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Old Creepy Ads. Fake? I can't even tell any more.