Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Predictions, trailer trash, civil war

Jeanne Dixon, Edward Cayce, Nostradamus, step aside. It looks like y'all got owned by Chris Rock. (video)

Corrections and Clarifications from New Orleans. Heh.

In the news, NBC described the situation in Iraq as a 'civil war'. Until now, news guys have been saying and writing that the country was on the verge of civil war, or that it is in the midst of sectarian conflict. Foxnews recently used the phrase teetering on the brink of civil war. That's a nice phrase: 'teetering on the brink'. Last Thursday night, English Brett and I teetered down Chung Ming S. Rd. for a while, then teetered into a taxi, and I somehow teetered out of the taxi and up the stairs of my building, at which point my wife promptly threw me into the brink. Brett might have stayed brink-free, but I bet he didn't feel any better Friday morning.

But anyway, I think it is reasonable for the administration to reject this nomenclature. Since this occupation has no standards* for either victory or defeat, is seems reasonable to reject any outside definition of "civil war". How will we know when we have achieved victory in Iraq? The administration will let us know. How will we know if we've lost? They'll let us know that, too. When is Iraq officially in a civil war? When the White House tells us they are in a civil war, and not a second earlier.

* See also: benchmark, criterion, mark, measure, touchstone, yardstick


Robin said...

Have you been following the controversy on AP and LA Times printing stories allegedly sourced by named sources in Iraqi govt that no one can locate?

Karl said...

Nope. Don't know anything about it.

Red A said...

I'd say civil war would be pitched battles between militias and not just pot shots, mortars, and killing civilians...that would be sectarian strife.

Think Spanish Civil War, while in Northern Ireland it was sectarian strife. .

In Yugoslavia we had the word ethnic cleansing invented, because civil war did not quite work.

Red A said...


To recap the AP "scandal", basically they have been quoting an Iraqi police captain over several months that apparently does not work for the Iraqi police. (note the word apparently since I would wait for final verification of this.)

Karl said...

Your definition sounds fair to me. How many pitched battles do we need to have? And how will I know if a battle is 'pitched', as opposed to just a regular old battle? And I guess they got militias o' plenty over there, so how many guys will need to be involved from each militia? Forty-five? Or more like a couple of hundred?

Michael Turton said...

Karl, the AP scandal is laid out.

Iraq makes me want to puke.


Karl said...

I think I get it now. The situation in Iraq is all the fault of... the Left Wing Media? That's sweet.

Just for the record Michael, the only reason those Russian tanks marched into Berlin last Thursday night is that I was betrayed by the Fuehrer-hating media. It had nothing to do with my strategic decisions, tactical incompetence, or level of inebriation.

Wait a minute, I can do better than that. I WON last Thursday. The evening was a total victory for Lebensraum and our beloved emperor. Anyone who believes that the Allies were victorious that evening has been deceived by the villainous MAINSTREAM MEDIA and their hatred for Axis victory freedom.

Michael Turton said...

LOL. The problem is convincing the Right that it is beaten. Good luck.


Karl said...

Saw this on FARK:

The US has to win a war or it becomes the AZ Cardinals, a team with a huge, expensive stadium that can't win a damn thing.

Anonymous said...

Captain exists. AP hacks back at right-wing blogs.


Karl said...

Colin Powell is calling it civil war, because "he likes to face the reality". I don't think that's a very good approach. I've seen reality, and it's pretty depressing. Much better to ignore the ugly bits, and fabricate scenarios that are more comforting and pleasing.

Now if you will all excuse me, a naked Grace Park is waiting for me at my at my mansion, and she is eager to try out the new handcuffs.