Monday, October 24, 2005

Lynx for Monday

To start things off on a lighter note, Apostropher found Lone Star Statements. These are reviews put up on Amazon for books listed by Time Magazine as the 100 best novels from 1923 to the present. My (and apparently Aprostopher's) favorite:

The Lord of the Rings (1954)
"The book is not readable because of the overuse of adverbs."

Seen on FARK: Metrosexual man bows to red-blooded übersexuals
Celebrity metrosexuals include Jude Law, Orlando Bloom and David Beckham, whose good looks can be seen as slightly womanly.

Their übersexual counterparts include George Clooney, Donald Trump, Pierce Brosnan and Bill Clinton, who are fashionable and wear tasteful clothes, but are unashamedly masculine, not least in their often complicated and very heterosexual lifestyles. Salzman's book proclaims the world's leading übersexual as the rock star and anti-poverty campaigner Bono.
Um... Donald Trump? Bono? I had already pretty much given up on the whole metrosexual thing, insofar as it requires that you at least occasionally brush your hair. But I am never one to ignore superficial trends as mandated by British newspapers, so I'm going to get right on my new übersexual image-building.
Rush Limbaugh, the notorious 'shock jock', recently mused that übersexuals sounded rather like him.
So... In order to be an übersexual, I need to be fat, addicted to painkillers, and constantly run my mouth without ever knowing what the hell I'm talking about? This is gonna be easy.


lizwa said...

Dude, is it true that Tom Cruise is actually really gay? That's what I want to know.

Anonymous said...

Take that back. Rush is a god.

malv said...


You've got it made! (Check out below.)

I'm gonna start a blog, too!

Karl said...

"Take that back. Rush is a god."

Man. Talk about declining standards.

Red A said...

Karl, I think you would be naturally attracted to the metrosexual lifestyle.

I know, with my beard and fat rolls, that I am just not going to cut the mustard as gay bait.

But you might have potential. Shall we go out on Saturday night to the Pig Pen?

Robin said...

You have to admit, for all his faults, you don't see Rush putting out videos where he playacts at aggravated assault.

Karl said...

Who did that?

Robin said...

Al Franken.

Karl said...

I Googled 'Al Franken video' with no quotes and the second hit is Michelle Malkin's page, where she talks about... a satirical video he did to promote a book? Well, the link to the video seems to be dead, so I can't really be sure what that's all about. But since Franken is known for having a temper, shouldn't that satire be sort of working in both ways?

Anyway, for the record: putting out videos where you playact at assault is not a 'fault'. It is 'hilarious'.

Robin said...

To the contrary, Karl, I think it demonstrates that not only is the Al Franken Decade long past, but Franken is losing his marbles.

Karl said...

The Al Franken Decade!?!?! I had no idea that he was so popular. Maybe I should get around to reading one of his books.