Friday, January 20, 2006

Freedom Reckoning

Red A has posted about some cretinous Dutch General who dares to criticize the way the U.S. military is handling Afghanistan. Red A's logic is unassailable. Since Dutch soldiers allowed a massacre in Sbrenica ten years ago, it is obvious that no Dutch military figure can ever hold a viable opinion on the way the U.S. military does things. Red A's use of indignation, CAPITAL LETTERS, and the word 'dude' make his reasoning even more airtight. The only thing this Aristotelian masterpiece lacks is a reference to Koxinga.

I'll get on board. Remember how a few years ago the dastardly French stabbed America in the back by suggesting that invading Iraq might not be the best idea in the world? We slapped them down pretty hard by changing 'French fries' to 'Freedom fries' in some cafeterias and restaurants. It was a mighty blow to France, and the French people are still grieving. Not only that, but some righteous bloggers are still permanently boycotting French products, crippling the French economy to this day.

In that spirit, I call for an immediate boycott of Dutch products. Furthermore, we shall cleanse American English of pernicious Dutch influences:

When two people go on a date, and each pays his/her own way, that is now called "to go freedom".

When you drink alcohol to make yourself braver, you are taking a shot of "freedom courage".

When children jump two jumpropes at the same time, they are playing "double freedom".

Someone who scolds in a blunt or stern manner is said to be a "freedom uncle".

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Another great blog entry Karl! Those pesky Dutch! Keep those entries coming. The old surfer dude in Huntington Beach needs fresh reading material every few days if possible.

Anonymous said...

that's just dumb. not funny - just dumb.
this blog sucks.

Robin said...

OK, Karl, you don't think much of the Iraq operation.

Remind me again of how this makes a Dutch general qualified to comment? And Srebrenica is still a stain on the UN's well-stained underwear.

Michael Turton said...

The massacre took place over a week. The entire international community let down the Muslims there, not just the Dutch. Who, BTW, were driven out by Serb troops after being attacked. They didn't stand aside. The Guardian an interactive guide. Oh, and BTW, it should be noted that the US handed over refugees fleeing the massacre to the Serbs. Who promptly killed them. A conspiratorial view

Everyone got their hands dirty in that one. And guess what: it has nothing to do with Iraq. The Dutch General is correct: US troops are relatively more insensitive, poorly-trained, and incompetent, a point that has been made by numerous observers, including US officers, and one that has been historically true of the US army throughout its long history as a colonial army fighting Indians, filipinos, Haitians, Koreans, Vietnamese, etc.

Michael

Red A said...

Yeah, I guess I'm wrong. The Dutch are the ones who could, in a second, resolve Iraq and Afghanistan's problems by merely wearing seersucker and bowing towards Japan every day at noon.

Maybe you missed this part of my post, with link to another blog extolling Brits and Dutch vs. American way of patrolling:

"I'm sure both styles have their drawbacks, and the British and Dutch occupying the Shia areas of Iraq certainly think their way works better. (Though, suprisingly, they don't offer to take over the Sunni triangle...)"

What this sentence says, is that yeah, maybe their way works better, THOUGH I'D LIKE TO SEE IT USED SUCCESSFULLY IN A TRULY HOSTILE ENVIRONEMENT.

See Sbrenica for such a potential environment. Whatever apologist (sorry, Michael) stuff you hear, the Dutch had the troops on hand and could have done more than anyone else. That's why they are so embarrassed.

In any case, all of your arguments have one flaw...if we suck so bad at "peace-keeping" (and we might) why they hell is Kofi asking for our scary guys in Haiti at that time? Shouldn't he be a beggin' for Dutch troops?

Explain.

p.s. I am disappointed you won't bring your own MP experience into this...dude I am an amateur and you probably know better than me....and would you wear mirror shades?

Red A said...

p.s. You forgot "Double Freedom Chocolate" Mmmmmmmm.

Red A said...

For example,

What do you think about the burka searches?

Yeah, sure I wouldn't put pre-2006 Malv on the task, but would you NOT search people in Burkas?

This is another reason I think the Dutch general is a ninny. If Pakistani commandos are culturally willing to take down people in Burkas, why shouldn't our female MPs be allowed to search 'em?

and yeah, we bring along female MPs for this purpose, or we check hands and feet for, ahem, masculinity.

Michael Turton said...

See Sbrenica for such a potential environment. Whatever apologist (sorry, Michael) stuff you hear, the Dutch had the troops on hand and could have done more than anyone else. That's why they are so embarrassed.

Over here in the reality-based community -- that's the one that does a bit of research before posting on the net, and doesn't confuse its beer-driven prejudices for actual analysis -- the lightly-armed Dutch were driven from the posts by the attacks of the Serbs, who had seized heavy weapons from UN outposts back in May. The Dutch had no choice but to offer little resistance because NATO had refused to supply air support. In fact, there is a considerable body of evidence to support the contention that NATO high command was in collusion with the Serbs, but never mind that.

In any case, it is absolutely irrevelant.......

Yeah, I guess I'm wrong. The Dutch are the ones who could, in a second, resolve Iraq and Afghanistan's problems by merely wearing seersucker and bowing towards Japan every day at noon.

No one has claimed that the Dutch could solve the problems of Iraq and Afghanistan (one of which is that they are both occupied by a hostile foreign power murdering civilians right and left, violating international law, using illegal chemical weapons in combat, installing pro-occupation governments, and triggering a civil war -- there's nothing that the Dutch can do about the venality and brutality of the occupying power). Rather, the claim is twofold; namely, (1) the Dutch failure in Bosnia has no bearing on their ability to comment accurately on US troop behavior in Iraq; and (2) the Dutch assessment that US troops are ethnocentric, poorly-trained, and insensitive, is essentially correct. Since (1) is obvious by logic and (2) is echoed by all observers, the Dutch are correct. Smearing them with past errors -- why stop at Bosnia, Red? Why not go for their colonial brutality in Indonesia too? -- doesn't take away from the simple fact that the US troops are incompetent.

There's nothing different about the US occupation of Iraq than any of our other occupations, which also featured the same tried-and-true techniques of torture (what's the water cure, Red?), the use of death squads, puppet governments, civil wars, and so on. I suggest that you sit down with a good academic study of our occupations of the Philippines, Korea, Vietnam, and even Germany after WWII, where the scope of US misbehavior -- so bad that in the US zone US troops had to be replaced by German policemen -- has simply vanished out of history. The real tragedy of Iraq is manifold -- not merely that we have destroyed Iraq, and greviously harmed the US, but that we have done this all before, most recently in Vietnam, yet failed to learn anything . Only this time, I think, we will not be able to recover.

Michael

Anonymous said...

Michael:
Since you seem to have some quite valid points here, I was wondering if you could tell us your thoughts concerning the "real" reason our troops are in Iraq. What do think is the hidden agenda if any. What is the "big picture" here? I find it difficult to believe that our government could be so moronic as to enter another Vietnam type war and not have some larger plan in mind. Could it be that the U.S. just wanted a weak and destabilized Iraq to further the financial interests of U.S. oil conglomerates? Please note that Chevron reported it's highest profits in history today. Your observations regarding these comments would be greatly appreciated.

Anonymous said...

There are several possibilities, but since I do not have access to the councils of power, I cannot tell which is true.

Michael

Ryan said...

Does this mean I will have to give my girlfriend a "freedom oven" from now on? I don't think the new term really captures the essence.

Karl said...

I can't believe I missed "freedom oven".

Anonymous said...

Not to mention the people of the hills west of Philly, who will now be called "Pennsylvania Freedom"

MT