Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Flag Burning!


“Nobody should be allowed to burn the American flag — if they do, there must be consequences — perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail!”
-Donald Trump on Twitter

"lesbian ninjas"
"lesbian ninjas naked"
"why don't lesbian ninjas like me?"
 "pirate meetups in taipei"
"how do i search the google?"
-Chaon on Twitter

I searched this blog for the word "flag," and found that I have blathered about this issue a couple of times before. Some of the posts were so long ago, I don't really remember writing them.

2003 Remember Flag Burning?
2005 Here We Go Again
2006 Constitutional Correction

It's not that I have particularly strong feelings about this issue. I just think that it is nicely representative of the fact that even though everyone says they are for 'freedom,' there's not a lot of consensus on what that exactly means.

Anyway, check out Popehat's comments on this latest kerfuffle.




Monday, November 28, 2016

The Dead of Winter


Brain: Well judging from the weather, it looks like we’ll be spending today inside. That’s OK though, because there is a lot of stuff we can get done and not waste this Sunday afternoon.

Body: WE MUST SLEEPING NOW! DEEP SLEEPING!

Brain: Body, we slept nine hours last night. It’s only 2:00 in the afternoon. Why would we need to sleep now?

Body: OUTSIDE IS THE BIG LOUD RAINING! OUTSIDE IS FREEZING COLD! CANNOT HUNT! CANNOT FORAGE! MUST SLEEP AND CONSERVE ENERGY!

Brain: Look, we have discussed this before. We live next door to a supermarket. We do not need to hunt or forage tomorrow or any other time.

Body: MUST SAVE ENERGY TO PREPARE FOR COMBAT!

Brain: *Sigh* And what upcoming combat awaits us?

Body: NEIGHBORING TRIBE ACROSS RIVER IS DIFFERENT! THEY LOOK DIFFERENT! THEY TALK AND ACT DIFFERENT! THEY WILL RAID US AND TAKE ALL OUR FOOD AND WOMEN!

Brain: That “neighboring tribe” is called Sanchong, and it’s really more of a district. I assure you that they will not attack us and take all our women.

Body: WE MUST ATTACK STRANGE SANCHONG TRIBE AND TAKE ALL THEIR FOOD AND THEIR WOMEN! SLEEP NOW AND PREPARE FOR BATTLE TOMORROW!

Brain: No, we are not going to attack Sanchung. But I’ll tell you what; I’m going to lie down in this bed for a few minutes, just to placate you and your prehistoric impulses. Then we’re going to get up and get some work done.

*time passes*

Brain: Mmpfgh. What happened? Where am I? Who… What time is it?
*looks at clock*
It’s… FIVE O’CLOCK already? For fuck’s sake, body! What did you do?  

Body: CONSERVED PRECIOUS ENERGY IN COLD RAINY WEATHER! I HAVE SAVED OUR LIFE! AGAIN!


Thursday, November 24, 2016

Precipitation


In 2015, Baton Rouge, LA was the wettest city in the U.S., with 1971mm of rain. In Taipei, the *average* annual rainfall is 2405mm.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016


K: Hey nephew, come here.
I: What's up?
K: We're going to do an important science experiment.
I: OK, what do I have to do?
K: Not much. Just sit in this chair and give me your arm. And don't scream.
I: What do you mean, 'don't scream'?

K: *takes out hypodermic needle and tube* Do you know how to use one of these? 

Blood from human teens rejuvenates body and brains of old mice https://www.newscientist.com/article/2112829-blood-from-human-teens-rejuvenates-body-and-brains-of-old-mice/


Friday, November 11, 2016

Look at the Bright Side


Now that Republicans control the executive and legislative branches, America will *definitely* have a balanced budget by this time next year.  Right? Because they are so fiscally responsible and all. So that's good.


Tuesday, November 08, 2016

Test Your Might



November 8


Electricity runs through Twitter
And I watch it from this app on my phone
All the Trumpies are twitching to the news flow
And we got the world yellin' at us up here
Tonight in the zone...

We need a POTUS who won't drive us crazy. 

Friday, November 04, 2016

Wednesday, November 02, 2016

Pink Floyd Christmas Sweater


First of all, if you were Googling "Pink Floyd Christmas Sweater," shame on you.

But yeah, according to the ads I see on Facebook, it is a thing:


Dear Carrefour


I know that our relationship has been a turbulent one. And it is true that I have said some unkind things about you in the past. But as of today, all is forgiven. Let us happily stride forth into a new era of mutual benefits - an era of more profits for you, and ever-increasing obesity for me.





Thursday, October 27, 2016

Mnemonics


Here's a simple trick to remembering the difference between "stalactites" and "stalagmites."

The C in "stalactites" means that they descend from the ceiling, and the G in "stalagmites" means that they are straight-up gangsta.