Where in the hell is Lambuel's church? If I risked running into money, ice cream, and disembodied lips on the way to church on Sunday mornings, I'd be all kinds of devout.





Why are we always so sad? Because that is decaf in that cup, that's why.






More great stuff at Objective Ministries. BTW, what is a Triclavianist?

Bremen

"That's what you think..." said the Biggest Billy Goat Gruff.

I don't care if it's fake or not. Read it.

Proof

I've never been convinced by the arguments put forth by proponents of Intelligent Design. But this video has swept away my skepticism like the flood swept away the dinosaurs.

The Democratic Race in Seven Minutes

Product Endorsement

Tired of getting abducted by aliens? Your problems are solved.

Taiwan Tax: The tax for my car this year is more than three times the tax for my house. I suspect that the older and crappier your car gets, the higher the tax. But I'm too lazy to go look up the records from previous years.



Off to Hong Kong tomorrow. Back in the day, whenever someone went to Hong Kong they'd get a big list of stuff to pick up for friends- books, cheese, deodorant, Grappa, etc. Nowadays you can get pretty much anything in Taiwan, except maybe Grappa, and that shit is gross anyway.

But with the shopping needs pretty much excluded, I'm not sure what tourists do in HK. I used to run around the city for days at a time, drinking, clubbing, playing video games, and starting trouble with U.S. sailors*. Damn squids. Anyway, all of those activities are pretty much problematic these days. Maybe go check out one of the new casinos in Macao.

*I also once tried to outdrink a couple of Her Majesty's Royal Marines. Urgh.

I admire people who can admit and laugh at their own mistakes. So I'm obviously impressed with this Bessemer Venture Partners anti-portfolio.

Our reasons for passing on these investments varied. In some cases, we were making a conscious act of generosity to another, younger venture firm, down on their luck, who we felt could really use a billion dollars in gains. In other cases, our partners had already run out of spaces on the year's Schedule D and feared that another entry would require them to attach a separate sheet.

I like to think I'm pretty good at owning up to my blunders, but if I had actively avoided the chance to fund Google at its startup, I don't think I'd tell anybody.

The LAPD, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation, they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it — including the rabbit – and make no apologies. “The rabbit had it coming.” The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, “Okay, okay, I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit.”

About 8 months ago: Q: How Big Is the Subprime Mortgage Market? A: Not Very Big at All

Ben Stein said it well this past Saturday on Fox’s Cavuto on Business: The subprime mortgage problem is grossly overstated; the sector is just too small.

Ooooh. Nice call, Jeanne Dixon.

I'm wondering what kind of similar blunders I've posted here and forgotten about.

Chaon becomes a theist

Went to the Taichung Chili cook off today, meeting Michael Turton there around 2:00. Paid the entrance fee and started eating. There were a few good Chilies*, a few so-so Chilies, and a surprising number of really bad Chilies. (I'm hardly a connoisseur, but I'm pretty sure Chili is not supposed to taste like a combination of honey, sweet corn, and butt.) I found it interesting that all the Chilies seemed to go pretty light on the spiciness. I'm hardly a capsicum junkie, but I was under the impression that a good Chili should push the hotness envelope without overwhelming the flavor.

The two clear winners as of 4:00 seemed to be Chris's Colorado Chili (which had a smattering of black beans in it, and I know that disqualifies it in the eyes of purists) and Sean Reilly's Irish Chili (No, I had never heard if 'Irish Chili' either. And I was pretty sure that Marxists were dialectically proscribed from making Chili. But it was real good.)

So I was making the rounds, and I hit the table with the Chili submitted by FM. It posed something of a dilemma. I know the chef Winn, and I know that he is pretty competent in the kitchen. But he's still Taiwanese, and Chili is the quintessential American food. So you know... Taiwanese chili..., well, yeah. But Winn had already seen me looking at the pot, and I didn't want to be impolite. I grabbed a bowl.

[First and second bites] Interesting. Very light on the tomato, leading to a very non-traditional taste. But pretty good. Somewhat of a bite, but not too bad,
[Third and forth bites] He's really managed to bring out the flavor of the meat, something that often gets lost in chili with beans. In fact, there is a remarkably subtle layering of flavors working together. I think...
[Fifth bite} ... this might be... HOLY JESUS CHRIST IN HEAVEN! AAAHHGH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! DEAR GOD, DELIVER ME FROM THIS AGONY! PLEASE! I BESEECH THEE! DO NOT FORSAKE THY (as of 20 seconds ago) HUMBLE SERVANT! OH GOD THE PAIN THE PAIN THE PAIN. OOOOHHHHHH!

If anyone tells you that they saw me having an epileptic seizure today, please understand that in spite of the tears, snot, and saliva flying everywhere, I do not in fact have epilepsy (Today's Gran Mal symptoms notwithstanding). It may also be noted that God did not deliver me from mine suffering, relief was obtained through the blessed mercy of half a dozen Coronas. (Unless it was God who delivered his benevolence through the half dozen Coronas. This theology stuff always confuses me).

* Plural of 'chili' should be... 'chilis'? Looks too much like the name of the U.S. chain restaurant.

Spring Screech

The New York Times reported on CERN's new 'Hardon Collider'. Hilarity ensues.

Google is funny.

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Last October, I admitted here to being a loathsome criminal and having my Xbox modded. When I was in Germany a few weeks ago, I picked up a few games, including the double-pack of Grand Theft Auto- Vice City and San Andreas. I didn't know much about GTA, except that in the game you are supposed to run around and commit crimes. I was aware of some controversy and lawsuits- and that cries of rage and anger follow every time Jack Thompson's name comes up on FARK or Reddit.

Since the manual was in German, I had a hard time figuring out how to play (started with Vice City). Fortunately Dave came over to poker early last Saturday, and gave me some basic instruction along with demonstrations on how to get hit by a car, shot by gangsters, and drowned in the ocean. So the following day I started a new game and played for about 8 hours. I expected to A) Be amused by the 'video game violence' that has elicited protest and litigation, and B) Be able to beat the game in a couple of days, maybe a week at most.

I'm wrong a lot, but seldom as spectacularly so as this. I'm not going to say that I was shocked by the violence and utter glorification of sociopathy in the game, but I was taken aback. No, I was more than taken aback, but less than shocked. What's the word for that? Not only would I not let my kids play this game, but I wouldn't let my adult children play this game until they were 25. And even then they would endure a lengthy lecture on morality and social responsibility before booting up the green and black monster.

And I will never beat this game, ever. Not even with the help of a walkthrough. It took me about two hours to kill the pizza guy, and checking later online I learned that that is one of the easiest missions. Success in this game seems to require a digital dexterity that deserted me at least ten years ago, if indeed I ever possessed it. So if anybody wants to borrow GTA San Andreas, just ask. It looks like I'll never, ever need it.

Radical Fafbloggists will demand a new era of Fafno-Gibletsian rule over the cosmos, and none will be able to stand in their way!

True that.

Poker tomorrow night, 7:00PM at my place. Presumably the poker chips are still somewhere in my house, and can be found sometime between now and tomorrow night. If not, then I suck and we'll find something else to use as a substitute for real currency- maybe U.S. dollars.

Reason #2 why I should move back to the States:

Sales Manager: You are late.
Chaon: Sorry, I was pinned down by sniper fire.
Sales Manager: What?
Chaon: Um... Never mind.

POKER THIS WEEKEND. If you did not receive the e-mail about poker, it does not necessarily mean that you are not invited. Could just be drunkenness and senility on my part. And I don't have D-wayne's address anyway. E-mail me for details unless we've gotten into a shouting match about Israel in the last three months, 'cause in that case you really are not invited.

Communication Practice
Chaon: So I was talking to xxxxx and he said...
Cynthia: Who is xxxxx?
Chaon: I thought you met him once. Fat bald guy.
Cynthia: That doesn't tell me anything. All of your friends are fat bald guys.

Very long time with no blogging. Went to Germany, came back, caught up. Here are the views:

Bremen: Fantastic city where I spent way to little time. Beautiful buildings, great food*, nice people. Main drawback is that it is the coldest place in the whole universe. I spat on the Spitting Stone, marveled at the cathedral, and for the first time in my life felt uncomfortably short from a short conversation with two people. One guy was about 200cm, and the other about 206. So that is how the rest of the world feels. Hmm.

Hanover: In another lesson concerning scale, I went to the Cebit show. It is about twice as large as the largest trade show I've ever been to (Practical World in Cologne). Twice as large, and about 100 times more fun. Hot women, zillionaire tech geeks, techno music, open bars at company stands... sigh. I'd say that I picked the wrong industry, but in 5 years half the companies at Cebit will be out of business.

Cologne: Checked into Wasserturm, and headed immediately for chess bistro. Drank beer, made friends, won money, lost money, had a blast. My usual style of berserker, sacrifice-everything play led to these comments-
Smartass Greek Guy: American friend, I think if your country's generals fight wars like you play chess, then your country has not so many problems in Iraq.
Smartass German Guy, (watching as I sac two pawns and a knight for an open line and tempo): I don't think American generals are allowed to do that to their soldiers.

The Cologne Exhibition: We didn't have any open bars, but I did get a preliminary injunction against wicked infringing company X. Me and my company's badass counsel showed up at their booth with a bailiff, who yanked the vile infringing product off the stand. Then me and the attorney went around terrorizing trading companies (with strongly worded letters) who had the same product on display. We went to the booth of hated competitor Y, who owed us legal costs from way back. We had the bailiff and a court order, and Y Laoban had to empty his and his German agent's pockets to pay the bailiff cash on the spot. In a position where the most job satisfaction I usually get is a Notice of Allowance or a P.O., those were some very rewarding days.

*If you like pickled herring sandwiches, which I totally do.