Thursday, January 24, 2019

If current trends continue...


Every day I will come home from work, eat dinner, and then immediately go to bed. I will wake up every day at 2:30 a.m.

Will need a good middle-of-the-goddamn-night hobby.


Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Thursday, January 10, 2019


Anyone want to hear an ARP joke?

Anyone want to hear an ARP joke?

Anyone want to hear an ARP joke?

Anyone want to hear an ARP joke? 

Anyone want to hear an ARP joke? 

Anyone want to hear an ARP joke? 

Anyone want to hear an ARP joke? 

Anyone want to hear an ARP joke? 

Anyone want to hear an ARP joke? 

Anyone want to hear an ARP joke? 

Tuesday, January 08, 2019

I wasn't crying...



...you were crying. 


Because you got roaring drunk last night and then watched The Breakfast Club on cable and when the kids started talking about their parents you got all weepy.


Thursday, January 03, 2019

I just figured out...



...that  Tolkien's Battle of the Pelennor Fields that ended the Siege of Gondor was a repurposing  of the Battle of Vienna, where instead of three thousand Rohirrim showing up to kick ass, it was three thousand Polish hussars.

And while "Polish hussar" doesn't sound all that tough, they look pretty badass.


Tuesday, December 25, 2018



But if meow mere fact that meow can produce from my thought meow idea of something entails that everything which meow clearly and distinctly perceive to belong to that thing really does belong to it, is not this a possible basis for another argument to prove meow existence of God? Certainly, meow idea of God, or a supremely perfect being, is one that meow find within meow just as surely as meow idea of any shape or number. And meow understanding that it belongs to his nature that meow always exists is no less clear and distinct than is meow case when meow prove of any shape or number that some property belongs meow its nature.

-René De'cat

Monday, December 24, 2018

The Irish Comeuppance Draws Nigh


(That means the comeuppance the Irish will receive, not one they will dish out.)

I have ranted steadfastly warned America and the world about the dangers of the perfidious Irish. Examples are:

Readin ya loud and clear

Chaon refers to Irish using racial slur

Media Firestorm Burns Strong in Central Taiwan

and

Coahr Wahluse

Well, some people have been saying that Chaon will Talk the Talk, but refuses to Walk the Walk. I shall put these assertions to rest forthwith. Because on January 28, my invasion of Ireland commences. So yeah. I will Walk the Walk all over those O'Learys and O'Sheas and O'Scallywags.

Upon establishing a beachhead in Dublin, I shall first humiliate the Irish nation by heading to the nearest pub and showing them what real drinking is. I suspect the Irish lamentation will be heard for hundreds of miles. Or kilometers. Whatever they use in Ireland; might be macro-shillelaghs or something. 

So you have been warned, Irishmen. Prepare your cardigans and your gilets and those scratchy wool pants. Chaon's vengeance approaches.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Nando's sauce in Taiwan



A few years ago, I spent 48 hours in London. That was my first and only experience in England. While it wasn't an entirely bad time, I did find the city to be somewhat overly cosmopolitan.
Editor's note: I am not a racist in any form. In fact, some of my best friends are cosmopolitan. 
So in my short time there, I ate some things and drank some things and oh my god £7 for a pint are you fucking kidding me.

But one thing stood out (besides the Grand Ole Museum of Looted Stuff), and that was Nando's Chicken. My god, and people said that Brits can't cook! They said John Bull doesn't know how to use spices! How wrong those people are! (or so I thought)

As it turns out, the people who say that stuff are probably right. Nando's isn't British, it is South African via Portugal.

Why does this matter to this esteemed blog? Because City Super has been selling Nando's sauce in a tiny little bottle for NT$265. And that's too damn much money for something I still have to cook myself. Unless it's like fresh crab meat or something. But now, you can buy Nando's sauce at Carrefour* for the low price of only NT$115. 
 
* At least you can at the Xindian Carrefour. Those stores are not real consistent about their product lines.