Tuesday, February 21, 2017

"Our country is not in too bad a shape, but our transportation infrastructure needs work. Both road and rail systems need significant upgrades. How should we go forward?"

"Well, the first thing we should do is spend a couple million Euros on a huge statue of Alexander the Great."

"Brilliant idea!"

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Friday, February 10, 2017

A bunch of people are pissed about this Bannon-Baghdadi graphic from Fox News.

Everyone can calm down now, I fixed it.

Thursday, February 09, 2017

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Flight Path

I'm no expert in these things, but why isn't that line a smooth arc?

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Optimum Health

Well yes, but are they **holistic** LOHAS organic solutions? And is there "wellness" involved? How much wellness?
It goes without saying that the LOHAS organic solutions must be gluten-free and fortified with quinoa.

16 Days

Four unruly Balkan nations* subjugated by my imperial shock troops.**

Didn't even make it to Albania. But I got an Albanian flag shirt, which is almost just as good...

* Romania, Greece, Macedonia, and Bulgaria. (Not sure if Greece counts as 'Balkan')
**Actually there was only one shock troop, my wife. But she's a total badass.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Compare and Contrast: EVE vs. IRL

(Seen on Reddit)

IRL has the full breadth of military machines, and it's all done as an FPS (again, like Star Citizen). EVE will never have this as the refresh rate of EVE is 1hz, while the refresh rate of IRL is approximately 5.39e-44 hz.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Public Space Ganked

So now that flatscreen monitors are cheap, advertisers are finding ever more places in which they can use them to grind us further under the boot of industrial capitalism inform us of more delightful products.* So here in Taipei, there are ad-delivering screens in places like the back of taxis, elevators, and doctor's office waiting rooms.

We got some two new ones in our office building last week. Not in the elevators, but above the elevator floor indicators** on the first floor. They are advertising an online game. The game doesn't look very interesting, but what is interesting is the text in the frame above the screen:

上班十分鐘打一場 也能讓你Gank老闆

"Play one round in ten minutes at work, and you can also gank your boss."

It's interesting because of the use of the word "gank.". I learned this word back in the nineties. We used it to mean "steal," but with a connotation less like shoplifting, and more like borrowing your friend's Urge OverKill CD and not ever giving it back. When online games got serious, the meaning shifted to "egregiously kill." Example: if you and your enemy were running around shooting at each other and you finally go the upper hand, then you had killed him. But if he took one shot at you and in response you popped him with a rocket launcher, then you had ganked him.  

But I'm still surprised to see this word being used by Taiwan marketers. I showed five coworkers this picture and asked them if they knew what the English work "gank" meant. Four didn't know, the fifth said "kill in an online game." So I showed it to 14 year-old nephew and asked him. He said that gank means 偷襲 (tōuxí), or "sneak attack." So either the marketing is missing it's mark, or my company has an usually low percentage of gamers.

*Seriously, didn’t William Gibson predict this exact thing like 30 years ago? 

**That's probably not the right way to say that. You know what I mean though - the digital dislay that tells you what floor the elevator is currently on, and which direction it's going. 

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Old Jamaica Ginger Blear

Found myself pushing just over 100 kg, so I decided to lay off the heavily-sugared teas and the carb-laden beers for a while. I had found a delicious and healthful alternative that had the added benefit of containing ginger, which is supposed to promote immune system functionality or balance your Chakras ar something like that. Old Jamaica Ginger Beer was surely the answer to my unhealthy lifestyle tendencies.

After a few days of diligently drinking ginger beer, I noticed that I had actually gained a kilogram. But I thought to myself: "Self, this body's metabolism is probably slowing down a bit as a reaction to the reduced daily caloric intake. Just keep drinking the ginger beer, and we'll gradually get back to our target weight (around 97 kg)."

But after another week, I weighed myself and saw with shock that I was now just under 103 kg. Something was very wrong. I mean, I knew that ginger beer was a healthy beverage, because I had clearly told this to myself many times. I checked the nutritional information on the can.

Let's see... 64 calories per 100 milliliters, and there are 330 ml in a can, so that's... 211 calories per can.

211 calories.

For reference, a 12 oz (330ml) can of Coke has 140 calories. A 16 ounce can of Budweiser has only 194 calories. I have effectively been fattening myself up for the Lunar New Year holiday.

Stupid Jamaicans.

Monday, January 09, 2017


FOMO is "Fear of Missing Out" (which means it should probably be 'FoMo,' because the prepositions don't need to be capitalized). Its definition is:

"anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website."
 It's evidently a phenomenon for today's young people.

I am raising a teenager, and I am glad that he doesn't have FOMO at all. He has FoNBAtPLoL, also known as "Fear of Not Being Allowed to Play League of Legends." From the perspective of a parent or guardian, this is not a bad thing at all. Homework? Chores? Behavior at school? FoNBAtPLoL keeps it all sorted.