Excessive Zeal, Unduly Rigid. That's what She Said.

So the Pope issued an Encyclical Letter Caritas In Veritate, which I have no intention of reading. But that won't stop me from taking a section out of context and getting all worked up about it:

On the part of rich countries there is excessive zeal for protecting knowledge through an unduly rigid assertion of the right to intellectual property, especially in the field of health care. At the same time, in some poor countries, cultural models and social norms of behaviour persist which hinder the process of development.

I was gonna hafta respectfully traverse the criticism of Chapter 2, Section 22 at least because the Pope has failed to establish a prima facie case of knowing what the hell he is talking about. But then I realized that I had linked to the Pope's letter from Patently-O'Shenanigans. And much bigger brains than mine had already fired up the artillery:

If the Pope wants to promote development in the world's poorest countries he should start by relaxing his stance on artificial birth control.

Oh Snap!

Heh

Discomgooglelated

To all those who have found this blog by searching for "Taichung Love Canal" (without quotes), I am sorry to say that I have no idea what or where the Taichung Love Canal is. I can say that the name sounds kind of creepy, though I'm not sure why.

So, if you eventually find the information you are looking for, drop back by here and let me know. I'm kind of curious now.

Things I now know

Dill Pickles- Crazy high in Sodium. Not exactly the healthy snack I thought it was. Same with olives. There was a find-the-sodium contest 9 years ago. I missed it.

If you search the Armour Foods website for the word "Sodium", you won't find anything.

You can buy a cast iron frying pan in Taichung at the kitchen supply place near the intersection of Chung Kang and Li Ming Rds. You can buy a 10 liter variable-temperature crock pot for NT$3500 at another kitchen supply store that I'm not going to disclose because fnord I'm going to go back and buy it myself just as soon as I figure out space for it in the kitchen.

Not getting enough sleep sucks more for non-smokers.

Why I Love Reddit

yolesaber
Not to be overly pedantic but nuclear fission works just fine. It's nuclear fusion that is still being developed.

zhx
The problem with nuclear fission is that hundreds of thousands of dolphins also get caught in the blast.

wxd
No, you're thinking of nuclear fishing.

TenThousandSuns
The problem with nuclear fishing is that once you get your arm in there it's really hard to take it back out.

Bassir
No, you're thinking of nuclear fisting.

Contren
The problem with nuclear fisting is that it takes a while to get the metal out of its ore.

gbo2k69
No, you're thinking of nuclear pyrometallurgy.

Ilyanep
The problem with nuclear pyrometallurgy is that your immune system becomes hypersensitive to harmless environmental substances.

YAOMTC
No, you're thinking of nuclear allergy.

phyzome
No, you're thinking of nuclear...
...what the hell are you thinking of? "Smelting" and "fisting" don't even sort of rhyme.

MagneticEnigma
Smithing?

Thunderhead
I was hoping this conversation would lead to nuclear frosting. Such potential, wasted :_(

Top 10 New Euphemisms from the Mark Sanford Affair

and

Bonus- The Word Guys get in on it.

Take this sentence...,referring to his staffers: "I let them down by creating a fiction with regard to where I was going, which means that I had then, in turn, given as much as they relied on that information, let down people that I represent across this state." Ah, creating a fiction! If only Sanford weren't the married governor of a state, such an act of creativity might earn him a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing — or at least a prize spot on mother's refrigerator.

Note to self: Explain to wife that I am not a lying bastard. I am a fiction creating bastard.

Piece of Shard Movie

Transformers 2 F.A.Q.s (Spoilers, etc.)

Why can't Bumblebee talk, but the other Autobots can?
Because Bumblebee is retarded, but in a Sling Blade kind of a way. This explains how he kills the living fuck out of a Decepticon later.

Science or Junk?

Lowers both GPT and GOT levels? Is that because the liver is all healed and is therefore putting less of those enzymes into the blood? Or is the clam juice just fucking up the test somehow?

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it..'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.'

Over. Zealous.

I was just looking for test results that supported the local superstition "clam soup is good for your liver". I didn't find any, but I found this:Got it. I'll be careful before attempting a liver cleanse. In fact, I'll be so careful that I'll never actually get around to doing it.

Incomplete

Common feelings of withdrawal include:

• Feeling depressed
• Not being able to sleep
• Getting cranky, frustrated, or mad
• Feeling anxious, nervous, or restless
• Having trouble thinking clearly
• Feeling hungry or gaining weight

I don't see the bullet point for 'Hating everything and everyone and wishing the universe did not exist'. Nor is there one for 'Screaming "Incendia caput! Malefax infernus!" at random intervals'

Quips from old game shows.

Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.

Dissentery

No blogging for a few days. I'm hiking the Appalachian trail.

Chess

This Friday night at Salut Pizza. 8:00PM

Posh

To celebrate 10 years of indentured servitude, I took my wife to the hoity-toity French restaurant on Hui-Wen Rd. I'm still not sure of the name; it's either 'La Fete' (In French: 'The Feet'), or 'La Fele' (French: 'The Fellation'). Either way, here's my review:

Atmosphere: Nice, classy. Detracted by the presence of me.
Service: Outstanding and, in my case, patient. "Yes sir, the entire thing is edible"
Food: Good except for the fried pigeon. That was ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. Serves me right for ordering a fried pigeon when the other choice with my meal set was a 'mini hamburger'.
Cost: Urgh.


* "Hoit" is a 16th century verb whose meaning is "to play the fool" or "to indulge in riotous and noisy mirth." Example: "Goddamit Brett, quit your pommy hoiting and deal the cards."

Rise of the Machines

Robotic AI's will someday rise up and engage in a war to exterminate humankind. We'll know that they are advanced enough for this to happen when we see the first good machine translation from Japanese to English.

It consists of combination of the approximately semicircular pillar-shaped Uemoto object, the approximately semicircular pillar-shaped Shimomoto object, the 1st tabular turntable of an abbreviated ellipse, and the 2nd tabular turntable of an abbreviated ellipse, So that it may be possible to change into the state where this upper main part was detached from this lower main part, and to turn around this upper main part to a part of a convex step of an approximately center of this lower main part to this lower main part, Have a used machine style which supports this upper main part to this lower main part, and the 1st turntable of the above, and the 2nd turntable, It has a holding part for fixing various form and a hook type wood screw of size to a portion by the side of longitudinal direction top both ends on top, respectively, And have a cylinder of revolution in the center on the back, and this cylinder of revolution is inserted by through hole of the above-mentioned Shimomoto object, A mechanism which is supported rotatable focusing on this cylinder of revolution, and has allotted mutually a part of an opposite hand about the above-mentioned used machine style among the upper surfaces of the above-mentioned Shimomoto object, and stops this 1st turntable to a rotating position in which the holding part of 1 corresponded with an end of the above-mentioned Shimomoto object, It has a mechanism which stops this 2nd turntable to a rotating position in which the holding part of 1 corresponded with an end of the above-mentioned Shimomoto object, Detach the above-mentioned Uemoto object from the above-mentioned Shimomoto object, rotate it 90 degrees, make it intersect this lower main part, operate the 1st turntable of the above, and/or the 2nd turntable if needed, and it is made in agreement [ a holding part corresponding to a hook type wood screw which should be fixed ] with an end of the above-mentioned Shimomoto object, By making a hook type wood screw fit into a holding part of one end of the above-mentioned Shimomoto object, rotating the above-mentioned Uemoto object, making it in agreement with this lower main part, and making the above-mentioned Shimomoto object contact, . The above-mentioned Uemoto object and the Shimomoto object be put together, form a handle, and the 1st turntable of the above and the 2nd turntable should be caught between the above-mentioned Shimomoto object and the Uemoto object. A tool of composition of changing into the state where it was fixed to a holding part of the 1st turntable of the above or the 2nd turntable by the undersurface of the above-mentioned Uemoto object, and a ****** type wood screw projected from an end of the above-mentioned handle.

We're safe for now.

Evolution

B.G. Corp. v. Walter Kidde & Co. (2d Cir. 1935):

All machines are made up of the same elements; rods, pawls, pitmans, journals, toggles, gears, cams, and the like, all acting their parts as they always do and always must. All compositions are made of the same substances, retaining their fixed chemical properties. But the elements are capable of an infinity of permutations and the selection of that group which proves serviceable to a given need may require a high degree of originality. It is that act of selection which is the invention . . . .

Pitmans? Journals? An infinity of permutations?

When you see it...

Look carefully to see what is not quite right in this picture.

Excuses

Gambler Threatens to Sue the Venetian for Bad Feng Shui

The Venetian casino in Las Vegas is reportedly being threatened with a lawsuit by a Taiwanese man, identified only as "Yuan" (which should really narrow it down), who blames "feng shui sabotage" for a two-million-dollar losing streak last year. According to the report, Yuan contacted the Venetian through his attorney after he returned to Taiwan, and said that he intended to sue if the casino did not come up with a "reasonable solution" to the matter.

If that guy is successful in his suit, I'm going to sue English Brett for... a considerable amount of money that I cannot disclose here because my wife sometimes reads this blog.