Thursday, April 17, 2014

The Emperor of the Moon

The Emperor of the Moon

You're always coming up with plans; some small, some grand, some sheer elegance in their simplicity. Unfortunately, the incompetence of your minions and the sheer determination of your foe defeat you every time.

Which Basic Instructions Character Are You?

Monday, March 31, 2014

Looks Legit

In the News

The World court has declared that Japan's Antarctic whaling program is not for scientific purposes.

It has also ruled that grass is green, and that the sky is blue.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Dear Piers Morgan

This morning on CNN, I saw you talking to Richard Quest about Flight 370. You used the phrase "100% certain" about twenty times, asking why no none would say that they are "100% certain" that the plane crashed in the Indian ocean. Let me clear something up for you.

"100% certain", or what we might call "absolute certainty" is applicable in propositions of logic, and in mathematical proofs. It is not a useful concept in science, or history, and definitely not in an ongoing event. Here's an example of how it works:

Everything that I have seen and read indicates to me that Piers Morgan is a huge asshole. However, I cannot say that I am "100% certain" that Piers Morgan is a huge asshole. The evidence I have seen could have been falsified. There could be instances of Piers Morgan not being a huge asshole that just aren't shown on CNN. Maybe Piers Morgan is pretending to be a huge asshole in all of his public endeavors, to some secret and high-minded purpose. So, the formulation is this- Based on the existing evidence, the statement "Piers Morgan is a huge asshole" describes reality more accurately than some other statement. There is no "100% certainty", and no "scientific proof". 

I hope this clears things up for you a bit. Please note that evidence indicates that Jeremy Clarkson is also a huge asshole.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Nice One CNN.

All of us here in Taipei, South Korea are quite amused.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Good day,

I am quite sure that this mail will surprise you since we did not know each other before. But I searched & got your e-mail contact through for formal Introduction, I am Ms.Amina Gogo, Formal Protocol officer to late Mo’tassim Gaddafi.

My reason of contacting you is because I am looking for a Trustworthy person that I can present to the bank as the owner/ beneficiary of US$15.5M fix deposit in one of the Banks in Southern Africa. This was made during one of our trips last 2years to Southern African countries.

Reply if you can and more details will be giving to you on how the claim of this fund will be done in your name.Kindly reply via below email:

Ms.Amina Gogo

Monday, March 03, 2014

Ever heard the phrase:

"What is this I don't even"?

It now has an official picture.

The Absurd

A couple of years ago, I created a fake Facebook account under the name 'Søren Kierkegaard'. I then edited my (Karl Smith) Facebook info to show that I was "in a relationship" with Kierkegaard. I thought it was pretty funny, because existentialism.

Søren's account lasted for about two weeks. Then I was notified by Facebook that my shenanigans had been brought to their attention, poor Søren's Facebook page went to digital Hades. 

You know, if I had tried the same stunt on Google+ it would have been fine. A platform that allows 267 "Hugh G Rections" isn't going to fuss over one dead philosopher.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Thursday, February 20, 2014


I wanted to know why my peanut butter sandwich tasted like lies and treachery and damnation.

Oh. That's why.


Ha! I showed them.

I did nothing at all times.