Monday, April 20, 2015

Thursday, April 16, 2015

All right Karls, I'm sorry to say this...

...but some of y'all have got to go. I'm going to need you all to put on these masks and robes, and then enter the circular chamber over there for a ritual that I am going to call "Carrousel." Don't worry, one of you will be the lucky one chosen for renewal. Trust me.

Look here son,

...I don’t know which word it is that you seem to totally misunderstand. It could be “seminal,” or “punk,” or it could even be “band.”

Whatever the case, it would be better if you just stop talking right now. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Vote Marco Rufio for President

Because Bangarang.

Saturday, April 11, 2015


Vice President Biden needs to understand...

...that the Chinese Communist Party is not actively trying to suppress the rights of women. The Party is just very concerned with ethics in gaming journalism. 

Friday, April 03, 2015

You know,

...if you had told me ten years ago that someday I would be watching a movie starring David Michael "Dave" Bautista Jr., and that I would think his performance was great, I would have encouraged you to lay off the hallucinogens.

Finally watching Guardians of the Galaxy. Favorite character so far is Drax.

Wednesday, April 01, 2015


"I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy."

Heh heh heh heh.


Friday, March 27, 2015

Things I never thought I would read

" ultra nationalist Buddhist organisations"


To Catch a Pedagogue

To Catch a Pedagogue is a reality television series that features hidden camera investigations. It is devoted to impersonating underage people (generally ages 13–15) and detaining adults who contacted them over the Internet for educational liaisons. People were lured to meet with a decoy under the pretense of educational contact and then confronted. Show host Chaon clarified in an interview that these subjects should be labeled as potential rogue educators enablers, and not teachers. 

Monday, March 23, 2015

Uranus One will settle men on Uranus in 2023

Taichung company reveals plans to organize a manned mission to Uranus

TAICHUNG, TAIWAN 23 March 2015 – Today Uranus One announced its plan to establish a human settlement on Uranus in 2023. Every two years after that a new crew will join the settlement. Uranus One has contacted established aerospace suppliers from around the world that can supply all the mission components, and none of these companies has specifically said “no.” Uranus One is the brainchild of legendary aerospace pioneer Chaon, who will absolutely in no way take everyone’s money and buy a couple of totally sweet Lamborghinis.

Uranus One has designed a manned mission to Uranus that is totally not a scam. No sir. The most important simplification is that the crew will emigrate to Uranus. While sustaining human life on Uranus is not trivial, it is far easier and safer than bringing the crew back to Earth. If the astronauts had to return to Earth after their visit to Uranus, it would be a huge pain in the ass with lots of decontamination protocols and stuff. And seriously, who has time for that?

Anyone interested in being a part of this first human colony to Uranus should fill out the application, and send it to the Organizer along with the US$500.00 application fee. Only a couple thousand people will be chosen, so it is very important that people apply early and often. A special Expedited Processing Application can be submitted for an extra US$1750.00.

Uranus One has support and backing of several well-known and respected ambassadors:

Michael Turton, Scholar and Anti-ChiCom Activist: “This project is entirely feasible, and everyone should jump on this bandwagon before it sails. Karl, this check better not bounce.”

John Scalzi, award-winning aviator: “Insert Scalzi quote here, and make sure all the shenanigans are edited out.”

Richard Martin, King of Oklahoma: “A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird. Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word. Uranus!”


How Much Water Does Golf Use? 
From 2003-2005, the average water use for golf course irrigation in the U.S. was estimated to be 2,312,701 acrefeet per year. That equates to approximately 2.08 billion gallons of water per day for golf course irrigation in the U.S.
 2.08 billion gallons of water? How much is that?

Based on a nominal depth of 2 meters, (an Olympic-size swimming pool) has ... 660,000 US gallons

2,080,000,000 divided by 660,000 is 3152.

3152 Olympic swimming pools worth of water every day for golf courses... ten years ago.