Monday, January 26, 2015

You know, Taiwan does have its problems...

...but at least we're not Missouri:

The state board of education, public elementary and secondary school governing authorities, superintendents of schools, school system administrators, and public elementary and secondary school principals and administrators shall endeavor to create an environment within public elementary and secondary schools that encourages students to explore scientific questions, learn about scientific evidence, develop critical thinking skills, and respond appropriately and respectfully to differences of opinion about controversial issues, including biological and chemical evolution.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Slang update

Rekt” is the new “pwned.”

Pwned,” as you will recall, replaced “schooled.”

Schooled” took the place of “crab hustled,” which originated in the San Diego disco scene of 1977.

Crab hustled” came into use over “shellacked like a gramophone,” a phrase first used by U.S. troops at the Battle of the Bulge.

Before “shellacked like a gramophone,” the most common expression in use was “thrice-trounced.” This phrase was brought to the U.S. by Scottish mariners in the 1880’s.

Thrice-trounced” had gained popularity over “cudgeled o’er t’ panky dumpling,” first used by Shakespeare and believed to be Irish in origin.

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

It is true.


I am often very lack-a-daisy, because I am not facing the beast.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

O glorious Saint Karl the Great, chosen vessel of the highest virtues, thou didst show thyself to be a true child of the eighties, giving refreshment through thy just laws to mankind in the person of thyself. Intercede for us before the throne of the King of Pirates, that we may ever remember the shortness of time, the length of eternity, and the vanity of seeking human favor. Pray that we may grow in the priceless virtues which will endear us to the heart of Budweiser, a thirst which will urge us to place ourselves at the bar, in uncompromising obedience to the voices in our head, and an all-embracing charity for each of our brothers and sisters in chess. Avast.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Thursday, December 18, 2014


Their first song, "Doki Doki Morning", was released in April 2011. Later the band shot a music video for the song and in October 2011 released it as a DVD single intended for limited distribution. Having been uploaded to YouTube in the same October, initially the video attracted only some Japanese fans of idols, but in about a month was noticed overseas and confused and shocked people worldwide.

I'd say that sums my reaction up quite well.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014


Once again, the media gets it wrong with this article titled A new cold war: Denmark gets aggressive, stakes huge claim in Race for the Arctic.

There is nothing at all "aggressive" in plainly stating Denmark's irrefutable historical and geological claims to all land within the Arctic Circle. A related issue has been covered in this blog, and it was determined by all right-thinking parties that a) Hans Island is Sacred Danish Territory, and b) No Canadian blogger is a match for the mighty Chaon.

In case you have forgotten, here are the key facts in this case: Denmark has Jægerkorpset and Hjemmeværnet, and therefore all other countries' arguments are irrelevant.

The Danish Jægerkorpset are in no mood
to put up with Canadian or Russian whining.

Monday, December 15, 2014

About the F-35, a.k.a. "The Reaper"

Let me take a minute to explain the science behind the Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II stealth fighter. It's like this: When the amount of money that is spent on a military vehicle (in this case a fighter jet) reaches a certain density, a rift in the fabric of space-time occurs which then shrouds the aircraft. The result is that the stealth fighter is entirely invisible to radar, infra-red sensors, and the naked human eye.

This black hole-like distortion of physical reality creates a serious drawback, which is that the F-35 can only attack targets 12,000 years in the past. The only viable target of that time is the city state of Atlantis. Fortunately for the U.S. military, the Atlanteans are all enthusiastic practitioners of communism. So the F-35 will function exactly as expected according to its specifications and known science. 

Friday, December 12, 2014

Announcement of Military Action

My fellow pirates, at this hour, Chaon’s forces are in the early stages of military operations to annihilate our guava enemy, in order to defend the world from the grave danger posed by wicked guava-ness.

On my orders, our forces have begun striking selected targets of military importance to undermine guavas’ ability to wage war. These are opening stages of what will be a broad and concerted campaign. More than 35 allies are giving crucial support -- from the use of Twitter and Google+ accounts, to help with swashbuckling and privateering, to the deployment of combat units. Every participant in this coalition has chosen to bear the duty and share the honor of serving in our common defense.

To all the men and women of the Chaon’s Armed Forces now in the guava groves, the peace of a troubled world and the hopes of an oppressed people now depend on you. That trust is well placed.

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

What if...

..,dogs are just as smart as humans? The average lifespan for a dog is 12.7 years. Twelve year-old humans are dumb as all hell. I bet if a dog could live for thirty years, it do all kinds of smart stuff, like play chess and watch Battlestar Galactica.