Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Vegas Marketing

I was walking down the strip, and a nice young man handed me a brightly colored card with words on the back. Upon further examination, I noticed that the front of the card had a picture of an attractive (and it would appear, rather limber) woman. On the back of the card is the following text:

FREE
INTRODUCTION, NO OBLIGATION
-Specializing in-
HOT
One-on-One Action
Satisfaction Guaranteed
369-3**1
DIRECT TO YOU IN YOUR ROOM IN 20 MINUTES OR LESS

1 Girl for $35
2 Girls for $80
3 Girls for $99

Credit Cards Accepted
If paying by credit card - your statement will not show nature of the business
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now the information on this card raises some interesting questions, since I have never been to this city and do not know how things are done here. For example, for $198 could I get six hot girls to my room in 20 minutes or less? But if I spent the $198, would I be sacrificing quality for quantity- since they state clearly that they specialize in 'One-on-One Action' and not Six-on-One Action'? This 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' is another puzzler. The card says nothing about bacon, rutabagas, or leg irons, so I don't see at all how I would be necessarily satisfied by such an encounter.

3 comments:

Red A said...

The price structure seems weird.

1 girl is 35...but 2 girls is 80 (which 40 / girl.) Now maybe they want more to double team you. Fine.

But three girls is 99 or 33 / girl.

Anonymous said...

Well, you can go see the Hoover Dam, as a nice balance for your perspective on the zenith and the nadir of western civilization. And I suspect there has gotta be some sort of agency or such that specializes in helping the Las Vegas novice with re-enacting the better parts of "Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas". RIP Hunter S. Thompson.

Robin said...

Years ago, my wife and I were in Las Vegas and our conversation turned to the skimpy fashion of the day. My wife asked, facetiously, how one could tell the difference, given the then-new fashion of wearing undergarments as outer, between the tourists and the hookers. I responded that the ones with video cameras had to be tourists.

Not long after, a woman with a video camera approached me, named a price and said that the deal was that I got to keep the video tape ... so much for that theory.