Thursday, November 24, 2005

The Dilbert Blog: Results of Why I'm Stupid Should probably be called the Scott Adams blog, since Dilbert himself is not featured so much.


Let's just say, hypothetically speaking, that I was going to open a bar here in Taichung. That bar would need a name. Here are some possible names:

En Passant
Knight Moves
Kingside Castle

It's not like the place would be a chess cafe or anything, it's just that all the names that take priority in my brain are chess-related. Terry of La Terrasse suggested 'The Gay Pawn', which I'm going to have to reject for several reasons- namely, 'Gay Pawn' does not sound like 'Gay Porn', thereby making a clever pun, unless you are from Adelaed, Adelayed some odd place in Australia. And there is no way I'm going to work behind the bar of a place called the Gay Pawn. We have established many times over in this blog that I am not least bit gay. And I'm not sure it's a good idea to be entertaining any naming suggestions from a guy who calls his restaurant La Terrasse. You want a nice French name? How about La Reddition? That nicely captures the spirit and essence of France. I don't even think they serve any French food. My only plan foodwise for my bar is to serve more food than PJs. I don't think that is going to be too difficult.

So readers, vote on one of the names above, or offer a better a better one in the comments.


Michael Turton said...

What about:

Ruy Lopez's
Rank and File
Opening Moves
Knight Fork
The Board

and of course:

Karl's Berg
Honey. Beer. Now.
My Smoking Place

I'm sorry but no one could actually say "Zugzwang" with more than one beer in them...

DRIVER: Where do you want to go?
KARL: (slightly tipsy) Zugjwaun? Zugzhwnaung? Zughung? Slughorn? Syzygy? Aw...fuck it. Just take me to Little Italy.


Karl said...

Grandmaster's does have a nice ring to it, and has the added advantage of being wholly descriptive of my chess ability.

Peter said...

The Stinking Bishop? Has a certain ring to it and I bet it sounds great in Chinese.

Stinking Bishop lives in fear of the Wallace & Gromit effect,2763,1568640,00.html

malv said...

i'd open a place called
Gaping Hole or Muffy's
or Muffy's Gaping Hole
you say people can eat there? how 'bout: The Y

since you dont want anyone to know that you're gay, how about:
Curious or The Closet
or Garl's not Kay

or something more appealing to Taiwanese, like:
Hi Pussy (a variation on Hello Kitty)
So So (means absolutely nothing, yet used all the time)
Ji Che (because you are so... )
Hao Ke Ai! or Cute (to attract jailbait...)

wait! there's another possibility - Jailbait. no, that would attract hordes of lecherous, beer-swilling middle-aged men with disposable incomes... nah, you don't want those guys showin' up.

Rye said...

Knight Moves reminds me of some song. Grandmaster's not bad but Grandmaster K would be better.

I gotta go with Karlsbad Ass Castle.

Anonymous said...

mate in three

over the board

white to play and win... (on second thought...)


Anonymous said...

of course,

fork you with a smile..... nah

Robin said...

"Karl's Queen" didn't work for you?

Red A said...

The Greasy Pawn
Karl J's "we cook!"

The Tampa Man

Ponce's Fine Floridian Dining: Now with extra gator meat.

Tall Boy

Red A said...

Karl, send me an e-mail with your phone number...cell phone is missing.

Kevlar said...

I think jailbait is a great name for a bar. My choice would be The Rocking Horse. You could have bar stools with chess pieces carved in the back rest. Twisted Black and white squares painted on the ceiling (Alice in wonderland). Table tops with a variety of game boards inlayed and under glass. music. A big screen projector and food. A bar with a wooden top glass walls and foot rest or kick bar. Friendly all female staff. Oh yeah! A diaper changing table. A door labeled VIP ROOM. OR you could pitch a tent on the canal, hang a sign that says KNIGHT TIME and serve Taiwan beer with Betel nut.

Anonymous said...

try here

imagine that

chess related

Anonymous said...

up dates

Red A said...

One woman for a million chess nerds.

She's like that Indy 500 chick.

P.I.M.P said...

Knight moves is definately a great name. Rye, the answer is Bob Segar. Anyways, if I were to open a bar, and I were named Karl, and constantly were accused of being gay, I'd call it Karlaokee's. The name leaves all kinds of possibilities, but most importantly you could mislead the Taiwanese into coming.

Robin said...

Danica got married this week.