Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Vegas Marketing

I was walking down the strip, and a nice young man handed me a brightly colored card with words on the back. Upon further examination, I noticed that the front of the card had a picture of an attractive (and it would appear, rather limber) woman. On the back of the card is the following text:

FREE
INTRODUCTION, NO OBLIGATION
-Specializing in-
HOT
One-on-One Action
Satisfaction Guaranteed
369-3**1
DIRECT TO YOU IN YOUR ROOM IN 20 MINUTES OR LESS

1 Girl for $35
2 Girls for $80
3 Girls for $99

Credit Cards Accepted
If paying by credit card - your statement will not show nature of the business
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now the information on this card raises some interesting questions, since I have never been to this city and do not know how things are done here. For example, for $198 could I get six hot girls to my room in 20 minutes or less? But if I spent the $198, would I be sacrificing quality for quantity- since they state clearly that they specialize in 'One-on-One Action' and not Six-on-One Action'? This 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' is another puzzler. The card says nothing about bacon, rutabagas, or leg irons, so I don't see at all how I would be necessarily satisfied by such an encounter.

4 comments:

Red A said...

The price structure seems weird.

1 girl is 35...but 2 girls is 80 (which 40 / girl.) Now maybe they want more to double team you. Fine.

But three girls is 99 or 33 / girl.

TecSpectr said...

Perhaps the first girl is the new girl who sells for 35, the second is the better trained girl who sells for 45, and the third is, well, 'the third' who only fetches 19. I'd avoid ordering three.

Angus said...

Well, you can go see the Hoover Dam, as a nice balance for your perspective on the zenith and the nadir of western civilization. And I suspect there has gotta be some sort of agency or such that specializes in helping the Las Vegas novice with re-enacting the better parts of "Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas". RIP Hunter S. Thompson.

Robin said...

Years ago, my wife and I were in Las Vegas and our conversation turned to the skimpy fashion of the day. My wife asked, facetiously, how one could tell the difference, given the then-new fashion of wearing undergarments as outer, between the tourists and the hookers. I responded that the ones with video cameras had to be tourists.

Not long after, a woman with a video camera approached me, named a price and said that the deal was that I got to keep the video tape ... so much for that theory.