Monday, June 27, 2016


A lot of my American and Taiwanese friends don't know what to make of the Brexit thing, because they lack context and perspective. Fortunately, I'm real knowledgeable about British politics, history, and culture, and this can be easily verified by my use of the Oxford Comma in this sentence.

Here is the situation: In order to resolve the current political crisis, the House of Lords will need to petition the Queen and ask her to invoke the Magna Carta. This will cause the Tories and the Conservatives to form an alliance, and the Labor Party will move to bolster its public image by increasing funding for the NHS. This will be done by increasing taxes on tea, and will be met with stiff opposition by Professor McGonagall.

Then things will get messy. As the BBC and Buckingham Palace trade accusations of impropriety, the Roundheads will ambush Wimbleton, getting 236 runs and losing 5 wickets. The plans for a new referendum will be vetoed by Churchill, while Northern Ireland takes move to stockpile its precious reserves of haggis.

The most likely conclusion to these events will be bloodshed, with Alfred, Lord Tennyson being beheaded by Lancelot in Trafalgar Square.

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