The Bread Pool

As we all know, our beloved Bread will be leaving us at the end of this week. He'll be leaving for good this time, not like a couple of weeks ago when he left us to go travel in China, only to remember 5 days into his trip "Oh yeah! Traveling in China SUCKS!". At which point he promptly returned to Taichung and asked me if he could borrow my ip address.*

So at poker last Friday night, we discussed some of the difficulties Bread will face upon his return to the U.S. in pursuit of a graduate degree. To recap, he will have to deal with:

-Cigarettes that cost a bazillion dollars a pack, and the fact that if you dare light one in any location other than your basement, people'll stare at you like yer a leper.
-American conservatives; i.e., "We are fighting terrorists in Iraq so we won't have to fight them in another place until they're better trained and 9/11 to the war on terror so for Patriotism we'll have to give up some of the freedoms that the terrorists hate us for. "
- American liberals; i.e., "George Bush and his oil family cronies were involved with 9/11 planning and Karl Rove committed treason to fund Haliburton and there is a proven conspiracy between Cheney, Blair and the Illuminati to crush Democracy and did you know it takes all the water in Lake Michigan to produce enough beef for five hamburgers?"
-American women, who will (by and large) not be too receptive to Bread's only pickup line: "Hi there. I've got a condom with your name on it."
-American college students. American. Undergraduate. College Students. From Montana. Duuude, kegs! and like, whoa...
-and many other obstacles including but not limited to: paying taxes, Wal Mart, religious fundamentalists and The O'Reilly Factor.

Now while we all wish Bread success in his educational foray, we have to face facts: There is a possibility that he will say 'screw it' and come back to The Chung. And where there is possibility, there is probability. And where there is probability, there is gambling. As he has demonstrated in the past that he is conversant with Pragmatist philosophy, we can assume that Bread will not object to...

The Bread Pool

Everyone throws in NT$200, and picks a date for Bread's return to Taichung. Add a brief synopsis of the factors leading up to his return, 'cause it'll be funnier that way. Here's mine:

Dumb undergraduates + Patchouli oil + Bumper stickers + Montana winter= Return date of February 5, 2006.

Leave predictions in the comments. Pay me NT$200 anytime, but before Feb. 5 of next year.

* Really. That's what he said.