Tables Turned

I'm not gonna lie to you; My eternal war with the ninjas has not been without certain setbacks. Like last year when I came back from that Forumosa Happy Hour at 3:00 a.m., and was viciously ambushed by The World's Most Wicked Ninja(TM) about five hours later while I was still sleeping. That dishonorable sneak attack involved the ninja yelling: "Hangover? You DESERVE IT!", and then grabbing my head and shaking it real hard. I couldn't do much in response except thrash around in pain, and snivel like a dying puppy. Bad day for pirates, that was, and I resolved to never marry another ninja ever again.

But last night I discovered a new weapon against ninjas- port wine. Little Miss Ninjitsu was all like: "Yum!", and I was all like: "You should be careful. Port is closer to brandy than it is to wine, I think it's like 20% or something." and she was like "But I'm taking food with it so I'll be fine." Then she'd take a tiny bite of cheese and then a huge gulp of Port. Two hours later, The World's Most Wicked Ninja was insensate on the living room carpet, and I danced my pirate dance of great victory. But the best part was this morning, when the ashen-faced shinobi had to sit there and watch me eat a bacon-ham-sausage-garlic bread breakfast.

Avast, ninjas. Game on.