Chewin in the Chung

Dear Taiwan Compatriots,

You all know that I strive to react to every event with just as much angry knee-jerk nationalism as the next guy. But seriously, in this latest incident it's not like we we cheated out of a medal in an actual sport. It's Taekwondo for God's sakes. It's like getting disqualified from a Chutes and Ladders tournament. What's more, we pretty much gave up all rights and title to any kind of national pride when we agreed to participate in the event under the name Chinese Taipei.

Now everyone calm down, and go take a nap in this ugly-ass bed we have made for ourselves.