Friday, December 29, 2006

Breaking News

While much of the left, right and center blogosphere is still abuzz over the recent NRA brochure: Freedom in Peril, researchers here at Chewin' in the Chung have uncovered shocking new revelations about the controversial document. Using advanced gigaflop retrograde analytic software, we have reverse-engineered the .pdf file to reveal earlier drafts of Freedom in Peril that were ultimately rejected by Wayne LaPierre, Chief Executive Officer of the NRA.

As an example, pages 8 & 9 of the soon to be published work begin a lengthy expose titled "The Gang of Opportunists", with a full page graphic on the left showing seven of the most dangerous figures to American freedom- Rosie O'Donnell, Michael Bloomberg, Katie Couric, Michael Moore, Ray Nagin, Rebecca Peters and Eddie Compass. This is the two-page spread that was seen by millions:

gang_of_opportunists


However, by utilizing the Photoshop filing Outlook memory SCSI Adobe function to peel the upper layers from the image, we discovered that the left hand page looked very different in the original draft. Here is the picture as the NRA designer originally submitted it:

dangers

Just as we suspected! The muppet known as "Scooter" has long been antagonistic to the very virtues that make America the great nation it is today. I'm glad that the NRA finally has that little orange-haired villain in their sights.

3 comments:

Red A said...

I think the first draft had no women, so they had to change it.

The Michael Moore drawing seems especially unflattering (looks like he was inflated two twice his normal fat size) as does Hillary glowering.

Rosie looks spot on though. She could also go in the "National Association of Men Attracted to Lesbians" (NAMAL) archive of Lesbians who take the fun out of lesbianism.

Chaon said...

Whereas you and I are no doubt poster boys for NALABM (the National Association of Lesbians Attracted to Bearded Men.)

Kevlar said...

Kewl pics! I have got to visit this blog more often.