End Daze

I have been kind of wondering, what with the civil war, sectarian violence, explosive shenanigans in Iraq, and now the Israel-Lebanon conflict, are any Evangelical Christians maxing out their credit cards and cashing in their life insurance policies in preparation for Armageddon?

The Beast was evidently thinking the same things, but he was brave enough to venture onto something called the Rapture Ready message board:

If He tarries, I will just have time to get my hair and nails done (you know let all I come into contact with know of my Bridegroom and what He has/will do). So i am all spiffied up for Him when He does arrive to take me home. No disappointment, just a few last minute details to take care of to be more pleasing to look at. Sound the shofar!

What's a shofar? And what's all this about needing to have my hair and nails done for the Lord? Do I need to wear a tie?