Monday, August 22, 2005

Impending Badassity

Oh yeah! I'm going to get this video, and then I'm going to kick all kinds of butt in this city. Then I'm going to go back to Tampa this Christmas and get revenge on all those people who were mean to me when I was young! People in Tampa, you know who you are...

Look at just a few of the amazing techniques I am going to learn from this awesome video!

1. How to Crush a Man's Throat with the Softest Part of Your Hand!
3. How to Strike so fast and so Hard your attack will be Un-blockable
6. How to Strike with Maximum Force and Minimum Effort
10. How to Condition Your Body to Take Punishment as Well as Dish it Out
17. The proper way to deliver effective strikes to the testicles
18. How to deliver a head butt the right way with out knocking yourself out!
36. How to destroy your enemies' Attacks with Your Elbows and The top of your head!

Actually, I am not real comfortable with #10. I hope we can skip the "taking punishment" part and go directly to the "dishing it out" part. I especially like the second part of #6- "minimum effort". I'm all about minimum effort. And how about #36!? I'm going to be able to destroy my enemies' attacks with the top of my head!


Robin said...

A video with more effective self-defense techniques.

Johnny Atomic said...

The video may help, but it?s your training regimen of constant drinking and smoking that I fear. It demonstrates just how much harm you are willing to inflict on a human being. I mean really, if you are willing to do that kind of damage to yourself, what hope do I have of you showing ME any mercy.

Fearfully Yours,
Johnny Atomic