Thursday, May 26, 2005

Score: Apostropher 1, Card 0

Orson Scott Card didn't like Attack of the Clones either, and murdered millions of electrons explaining why a cloned army would not be practical. Oh yeah Orson? How about a cloned army of The Undertaker? March a 100,000 strong army of Undertakers into Bahgdad, and watch those rebels scatter into Syria and beyond.

In Card's lastest review, he unloads both barrels on Jedi-ism as a religion, and Apostropher nails him to the wall for it. But I need to take this opportunity to point out that anyone who is seriously considering converting to Jedi is misguided. There is only one true religion to be learned from Star Wars, and that is Wookieeism. The tenets are quite simple:

1) If you lose in chess, rip your opponent's arms off.
2) You must complain loudly before jumping into trash compactors
3) There is no praying, as such, but you must try to bang two stormtroopers heads together each day.

I'm not sure if Orson Scott Card will approve of Wookieeism either, as the religion's adherents are comprised of very few white and delightsome people.

1 comment:

Michael Turton said...

Wow! I just read Card's column over at the Ornery Citizen. I had no idea he was such an idiot/ideologue. It reminds me once again that when I admire someone's art, I should not find out anything about their personal life. *sigh*