Chewin in the Chung

Things they have in Germany that kind of surprised me:
Mall rats
German rappers
TV Preachers
Guys with mullets
and at least one TV preacher with a mullet

Travel trips from Chaon:
When you are in Germany, and yer a guy, and you have to use the bathroom, you'll find the bathrooms and see one marked as damen. As much as that word looks like "da men", it is not in fact the mens restroom. So don't walk in there, 'cause you'll be embarrassed.

When you are standing on a street corner looking lost, you will often be approached by friendly looking German people offering help. They will give you directions in their best English to the place you are trying to find. This makes it seem that Germans are a courteous and helpful folk. This is not true. They will intentionally give you WRONG directions, because they want you to die in the freezing snow of their archaic city. Then they will use your flesh to make bockworst. This must be the case, because how else could I have wandered around lost in Cologne for an hour, totally unable to find the shoe store that was right around the corner from the subway station? Treacherous Germans.