Friday, December 16, 2016
The Liberal Who Cried Fascist
There once was a liberal who was bored as he browsed Facebook, reading posts about his country’s politics. To get attention for himself he took a great breath and typed out, "Fascists! Fascists! The Fascists are coming to get us!"
People came clicking through to his post to help the liberal drive the fascists away. But when they looked around they found no fascists. The liberal was delighted in how many “Likes” he had garnered.
"Don't cry 'fascist', liberal," said people on Facebook, "when there's no fascist!" They went grumbling back to their Candy Crush games.
Later, the liberal took to Twitter typing, "Fascists! Fascists! The fascists are coming for our civil liberties!" To his naughty delight, he watched as his tweet was liked and re-tweeted thousands of times.
When the Twitterers saw no fascists they sternly said, "Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don't cry 'fascist' when there is NO fascist!"
But the liberal just grinned and watched them go grumbling back to the #makeamoviebetterbyaddingbatman hashtag.
Later, he saw a REAL fascist movement rising in his community. Alarmed, the liberal accessed all of his social media accounts and frantically typed, "Fascists! Fascists! With actual swastikas!"
But the internet thought he was just trying to get attention again, and so they ignored him.
Days later, everyone wondered why the liberal had been silent for so long. They searched the local police records and found that he had been arrested for resisting arrest. When the liberal’s family tried to bail him out, they were told that the liberal had already confessed to the crimes of subversion, creating disturbances, and disturbing social order. Then the liberal was sentenced to a long prison term of indeterminate length.