The Dead of Winter

Brain: Well judging from the weather, it looks like we’ll be spending today inside. That’s OK though, because there is a lot of stuff we can get done and not waste this Sunday afternoon.

Body: WE MUST SLEEPING NOW! DEEP SLEEPING!

Brain: Body, we slept nine hours last night. It’s only 2:00 in the afternoon. Why would we need to sleep now?

Body: OUTSIDE IS THE BIG LOUD RAINING! OUTSIDE IS FREEZING COLD! CANNOT HUNT! CANNOT FORAGE! MUST SLEEP AND CONSERVE ENERGY!

Brain: Look, we have discussed this before. We live next door to a supermarket. We do not need to hunt or forage tomorrow or any other time.

Body: MUST SAVE ENERGY TO PREPARE FOR COMBAT!

Brain: *Sigh* And what upcoming combat awaits us?

Body: NEIGHBORING TRIBE ACROSS RIVER IS DIFFERENT! THEY LOOK DIFFERENT! THEY TALK AND ACT DIFFERENT! THEY WILL RAID US AND TAKE ALL OUR FOOD AND WOMEN!

Brain: That “neighboring tribe” is called Sanchong, and it’s really more of a district. I assure you that they will not attack us and take all our women.

Body: WE MUST ATTACK STRANGE SANCHONG TRIBE AND TAKE ALL THEIR FOOD AND THEIR WOMEN! SLEEP NOW AND PREPARE FOR BATTLE TOMORROW!

Brain: No, we are not going to attack Sanchung. But I’ll tell you what; I’m going to lie down in this bed for a few minutes, just to placate you and your prehistoric impulses. Then we’re going to get up and get some work done.

*time passes*

Brain: Mmpfgh. What happened? Where am I? Who… What time is it?

*looks at clock*

It’s… FIVE O’CLOCK already? For fuck’s sake, body! What did you do?  

Body: CONSERVED PRECIOUS ENERGY IN COLD RAINY WEATHER! I HAVE SAVED OUR LIFE! AGAIN!