Chewin in the Chung

O glorious Saint Karl the Great, chosen vessel of the highest virtues, thou didst show thyself to be a true child of the eighties, giving refreshment through thy just laws to mankind in the person of thyself. Intercede for us before the throne of the King of Pirates, that we may ever remember the shortness of time, the length of eternity, and the vanity of seeking human favor. Pray that we may grow in the priceless virtues which will endear us to the heart of Budweiser, a thirst which will urge us to place ourselves at the bar, in uncompromising obedience to the voices in our head, and an all-embracing charity for each of our brothers and sisters in chess. Avast.