Tuesday, May 04, 2010

The Dumbass Chronicles, Chapter 376

Last week, the sales manager of Company Z asked me to review and offer suggestions concerning the English description text for their new product. My suggestion was "Fire your copywriter." They then asked me if I could bangmang yi xia. I said no, because 1) I do not work for Company Z, and 2) Fuck that.

But of course the laoban of Company Z is good friends with my laoban. In the most easily predicted chain of events in 5000 years of Chinese culture, this morning I was told by the guy who signs my paycheck to write some beautiful bullshit* for Company Z's new product. Nice going Karl, you noob.

*"Beautiful bullshit" is my registered trademark


P. S. said...

So you'll be able to add "copywriter" to your resume. Makes you more marketable.

Try to keep "ninja" out of the text, however.

Robin said...

So how tempted are you to insert some Lanham Act sec. 43 violations?

Ah, of course, you were not tempted at all ... nope. Not at all.

But no ninja references does sound like a good rule.

Karl said...

P.S.- I actually *was* a copywriter before I was an ersatz I.P. lawyer.

Robin- It wouldn't be Lanham Act, since it looks like the copy is going to be used in Europe. But that kind of shenanigans would probably come back to bite me. Better to stick some kind of obscure joke in the text. Oh well, too late now.

Robin said...

Like the first word in each paragraph spelling out "PENIS" like a newspaper layout recently?

Karl said...

Exactly. Great minds think alike.

Robin said...


Karl said...

That just warms my heart. But how is that 'Fail'? Looks like all Win to me.

Robin said...

My thought too.