Monday, November 17, 2008

Coahr Wahluse

See, this is why America cannot go around letting foreigners be governors. You'll get craziness like this Arnold Schwarzenegger's comments in this interview with George Snuffleupagus.
Remember that so many times there’s dialogue about, you know, we have to go back to our core values.

What is that? What is core? How far does core go back in history in America, the word core? Does it go back 30 years? Does it go back 50 years? Because we know that Teddy Roosevelt talked about universal health care. So they’re off the core for a long time ago already. He has talked about protecting our environment. So they’ve been off for a long time on that.
Go back to your liberty cabbage, Arnold. It is obvious that America is the great nation that it is because of our core values. And it is the straying from these historical traditions that has led to all of the problems the nation faces today. These crucial values are obvious: Protecting our nation and our culture from the lazy Irish and the thieving Italians.

In 1921 the U.S. government legislated our traditional morality, limiting the number of Italian brigands allowed to enter the United States. This core value ceased being enforced in 1965, and we can see that everything went to hell right after that. Vigilance against the pernicious Irish goes back even farther, and there was even a political party created to keep America McFree*. Nowadays, the Irishmen have their wicked Celtic way with our motherland, leading us to inevitable decline.

I say bring back our sacred core values, before it is too late.

*Free of Irish Catholics, actually. But who can tell the difference?


Anonymous said...


I was disappointed that the author did not use "Fenian" somewhere to describe the Irish. He also forgot to mention their shiftless, drunken nature.

Also, while this essay included a bare mention of Italians, somehow it entirely skipped the Pollack Question.

Anonymous said...

Seems to me, being of italian descent, that limiting of the number of italians brought an end to the roaring twenties and led or even caused the great depression. What could be more depressing than less of the naturally fun loving italians? The lifting of this illogical and unfair embargo seems to be in direct corrolation to the summer of love! At least this is my obviously unbaised view... Aj

Karl said...

The author could not have used the word "Fenian", because he did not know that it existed (he does now). And of course hatred and fear of Poles (and Greeks, and Spaniards, etc.) are also important core values that must be restored. But with AJ being Italian, and Michael Turton being Irish *and* Italian, we'll leave it like this.

AJ- Summer of Love? More like Summer of Italian Influenced Drunken Debauchery. We started letting Italians in unchecked, and BOOM. Lost the Vietnam War. Though the Irish president getting us involved in the first place may have been a factor. Our current president is neither Irish nor Italian, and you cannot name a single protracted, unwinnable foreign conflict that he has gotten us into.

My logic is unassailable, so no further discussion is warranted.

Anonymous said...

What's your heritage by the way karl. Oh wait, I remember, you're from Florida, so that would make you 100% 'just plain silly'.


Karl said...

Actually I believe the correct term is "Scotch Mongrel".