Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Him Peach Mint

There is a lot of talk in the news and on blogs recently about "the criminalization of politics". Examples in recent history include:
The De-pantsing of a CIA agent

Making sure your election funds are clean and Downy-fresh

Having sex with an ugly girl and then lying about it

Now a lot of terms are being bandied about, such as "witch hunt", and "the criminalization of politics". But everyone should know that this kind of persecution for political stands has been going on for a long time! Consider the following notorious cases of using the legal system to persecute an individual for his sophisticated and progressive political beliefs...

1985- Chaon refers to Ronald Reagan as "a senile old fool". At graduation time that year, Chaon is apprehended and imprisoned by Walt Disney security on trumped-up charges of getting out of the little cart and running around Disney's 'Haunted Mansion'. Only a masterful legal defense secures Chaon?s release from the underground security labyrinth

1987- Chaon writes a scathing letter to the editor denouncing U.S. support of the Contra rebels in Nicaragua. Just three short months later, Chaon is cited by Tampa police for driving with an expired registration. Coincidence? Unlikely!

1992- Chaon declares at a party that the only just social system is one in which the working class owns the means of production. The following year, Chaon is majorly hassled by the police for illegal consumption of alcohol in a public park. Making the political persecution even more notorious, the police officer in question ordered Chaon and friends to pour out their beer!!!

2001- Chaon announces to the entire bar that James Soong is "a great big dick". Over the next four years, the Taichung city police tow Chaon's car away three goddam times! When will this witch hunt end?

I say, Enough to the criminalization of politics!


Anonymous said...

I say Chaon had it coming in almost every case.

That'll teach you to diss the powers that be!

YAY Authority! Down with trouble-making dissenters!

VT said...

You're damn lucky the only thing the Disney police caught you doing was fraternizing with ghosts. I believe you exhibited far worse behavior that night that went unpunished.

Angus said...

Remember throwing dozens of perfectly good beers over the wall at Avila when my Caddy of Doom broke down there? . . Ooops. I'm still really sorry about that whole incident. You walked forward into the trajectory of my fist as I threw one can of Old Milwaukee a looong ways. Thank you for not killing me. I'm still sorry about that. It is SO not nice to sucker punch good friends, even mistakenly.

Karl said...

VT, I know the full extent of my misdeeds that evening, but I am not sure how you know...

Angus, I have never been punched in the face harder by any other human being.

Angus said...

Nor have I been as forcefully lifted from the ground in a chokehold since then. Gosh, being an irresponsible teenager was fun.