Tuesday, September 13, 2005


Not a lot good going on in my part of the blogging world. Mid-September sucks in Taiwan. It is too hot, the weather will not be cooler for another month or so. Elections are coming, bringing with them the promise of... noise. A lot of noise. This Sunday is Mid-Autumn Festival, and already the spirit-destroying, mind-numbing horror of Moon Cakes has appeared in Taichung. If you do not know what Moon Cakes are, you should go to your place of worship and thank your deity for sparing you this knowledge.


On FARK, there was this argument about something that the Church of Scientology had done. Now to be honest, I don't know a damn thing about Scientology, except that the Battlefield Earth books were right crap. And I thought they were right crap at the time in my life when I was reading a lot of (and this is pretty mortifying) Piers Anthony books. So Farkers start laying down the usual wisecracks, including the suggestion that Scientologists believe we all evolved from clams. Lo and behold, an honest-to-Odin Scientologist comes on and starts defending Scientology, including the clam thing:
"Scientologists do not 'believe' that everyone evolved from clans, just that there are incidents in the past (on the time track) which involved clams, and which still restimulate us to this day, in various ways."
Well now, there were incidents with clams, there were incidents with beets, and there were incidents that involved tequila, Wesson Oil and neckties. And yes, maybe some of these incidents do still (ahem) restimulate us to this day, but I say it is best to leave those incidents in the past.

But it gets weirder. When pressed on the clam thing, the lone Scientology defender Ingvar explained further:
It's quite upsetting to be a clam.

Clams are the embodiment of the physical universe trap. you cannot get more trapped, spiritually, than clams.. well, you can, but clams are pretty much farked. try living a few lifetimes as a clam, you'll see what I mean ..

In Scientology, you run through the negative effects of all this. you have been a clam in your history, no doubt about it .. very few on this planet have escaped that aspect of the time track. When you feel the clam engrams in restimulation, you'll know frustration at its finest.
When you feel clam engrams in restimulation???? I'm not sure what to make of that, but I was always pretty sure that 'frustration at its finest' involved a penis. Can anyone suggest a Scientology link that, you know, makes sense? (Makes sense = No clam engrams)

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