Thursday, March 24, 2005

Yo! Roy Weatherford! Remember that time back in 1991 in your Epistemology class when I said that American Pragmatism was a great philosophy- You can wake up every morning and decide what you want to believe that day the same way most people choose what color shirt to wear? And then you called me a smartass? Yeah you do. Well I gotta let you know professor, reckoning is near!
a bill that aims to stamp out ?leftist totalitarianism? by ?dictator professors?
Now I don't know about your being a leftist, but you are a Democrat, and in today's America that is close enough.
Professors would also be advised to teach alternative ?serious academic theories? that may disagree with their personal views.
THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! And who will decide what is a serious academic theory? Not a bunch of dictator professors, you can be assured of that.

So the upshot is that I am going to get rich as soon as this bill is passed. In addition to the legal armageddon I'm going to unleash on Dr. Weatherford, I'm also gonna sue:
-The geology professor who mocked my arguments that the world is flat
-The physics professor who would not acknowledge my position that the speed of sound is faster than the speed of light
-The music professor who laughed when I said that Gary Numan is the greatest songwriter of the twentieth century

And let's remember: When we talk about frivolous lawsuits, the word frivolous means medical. And I'll sue any English professor who disagrees with me.

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