Chewin in the Chung

With many, many thanks to Aaroneous:

Sauron: Offer and acceptance

And from the comments:
The Fellowship of the Ring was a handy dandy offspring of a Rule 16 pre-trial conference, held jointly by the various plaintiffs bringing suit against Sauron. The Fellowship was sent on a quest to Mordor (inspection of property) to destroy the Ring (incriminating evidence of Bilbo's theft) before Sauron sent his forces (motions to compel and subpoenas) against Gondor (involuntary plaintiff). Eventually, the Fellowship was split (Rule 42 severance of trial) and Frodo and Sam were involuntarily impleaded into a whole other case dealing with Gollum and a confused claim against SAuron. Meanwhile, Sauron tried a summary judgment motion (Battle of Helm's Deep) and was defeated, but he then ramped up his discovery attempts, which were again defeated through subterfuge and "ignorance" of the relevant property's whereabouts by the Fellowship members (Rule 34). In the end, Sauron's case was decided on the basis of insufficient evidence (no Ring because it was destroyed), and the case was dismissed with prejudice (Sauron being cast from the world).