Chewin in the Chung

Spasm, n.: A sudden, involuntary contraction of a muscle or group of muscles.
[Middle English spasme, from Old French, from Latin spasmus, from Greek spasmos, from span, to pull.]

The word spasm is of particular interest to us this week because this is what the muscles in my neck and back are experiencing. I note with some dismay there seems to be no verb form of the word. Too bad, because I would like to say 'My neck muscles are spasming.'. How do I use the noun? 'My neck muscles are having spasms.'? Not very pity-inducing statement, I think.

I have been in and out of Asia since 1988, for a total of close to 11 years. The day before yesterday was the first time I have experienced acupuncture. I went to the traditional Chinese Medicine clinic on Zhong Ming S. Rd., near the intersection of Xiang Shang. I explained that I had a deep pain in my shoulder, and the doctor poked me and assured me that he knew what the problem was. The full treatment consisted of:
-Heat pack, real hot, hurt like hell
-Electro stimulation of the upper back, hurt like mild hell
-The weird suction cup thinks that leave big circular bruises. I don't know how to call these in English, in Chinese they are ba guan. Hurt like unholy hell
-Acupuncture, didn't hurt
The result? 32 hours later I was crippled, unable to turn my head right or left, look down, etc. What a load of crap Chinese medicine is. Went to China Medical College hospital this morning, and the nice doctor there gave me Diclofenac, Mucaine, and Chlorzoxazone. And he told me to soak in a hot bath. At least now I can look both ways before crossing the street without having to turn my whole body lurchlike right and left.

So, this blog endorses muscle relaxants for president, and decries Traditional Chinese Medicine, along with Voodoo and Alchemy.