Thursday, April 03, 2008

Spring Screech

The New York Times reported on CERN's new 'Hardon Collider'. Hilarity ensues.

Google is funny.

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Last October, I admitted here to being a loathsome criminal and having my Xbox modded. When I was in Germany a few weeks ago, I picked up a few games, including the double-pack of Grand Theft Auto- Vice City and San Andreas. I didn't know much about GTA, except that in the game you are supposed to run around and commit crimes. I was aware of some controversy and lawsuits- and that cries of rage and anger follow every time Jack Thompson's name comes up on FARK or Reddit.

Since the manual was in German, I had a hard time figuring out how to play (started with Vice City). Fortunately Dave came over to poker early last Saturday, and gave me some basic instruction along with demonstrations on how to get hit by a car, shot by gangsters, and drowned in the ocean. So the following day I started a new game and played for about 8 hours. I expected to A) Be amused by the 'video game violence' that has elicited protest and litigation, and B) Be able to beat the game in a couple of days, maybe a week at most.

I'm wrong a lot, but seldom as spectacularly so as this. I'm not going to say that I was shocked by the violence and utter glorification of sociopathy in the game, but I was taken aback. No, I was more than taken aback, but less than shocked. What's the word for that? Not only would I not let my kids play this game, but I wouldn't let my adult children play this game until they were 25. And even then they would endure a lengthy lecture on morality and social responsibility before booting up the green and black monster.

And I will never beat this game, ever. Not even with the help of a walkthrough. It took me about two hours to kill the pizza guy, and checking later online I learned that that is one of the easiest missions. Success in this game seems to require a digital dexterity that deserted me at least ten years ago, if indeed I ever possessed it. So if anybody wants to borrow GTA San Andreas, just ask. It looks like I'll never, ever need it.

4 comments:

Red A said...

My stepson got a portable game for a gift, and then one of the first games he got was some version of this ultra-violent gangsta genre.

I told his Mom but I don't think she had a clue what I meant. Then she caught him playing when he was supposed to be studying and destroyed the console before his eyes.

problem of overly violent video game solved by overly violent mother.

Robin said...

Karl,
you'll enjoy this:
http://www.audioholics.com/news/industry-news/blue-jeans-strikes-back

Chaon said...

Thanks Robin.

Design patents. Pshaw.

Anonymous said...

Hi Karl

Thought you might be interested in this: Improv Comedy night at the Londoner Sat April 19th 22:00
Saturday’s Improv Comedy Night will be “Whose line is it anyway?” style improvised comedy. The show will consist of the Taichung Improv Players making up scenes on the spot based on audience suggestions. Some of the games everyone can look forward to include:
Let’s make a date - a parody of dating game shows, in which the fourth performer must guess the other performers' quirks.
Scenes from a Hat, the host will pull suggestions for scenes out of a hat. In response to each suggestion, the performers will improvise a one or two-line scene.
Sound effects – Two players provide the action while two volunteers provide the sound effects
Director’s cut- A 'neutral' scene is played and then replayed three times each in a different genre.

And many more!!!!!!!!!!

Josh Myers