Chaon becomes a theist

Went to the Taichung Chili cook off today, meeting Michael Turton there around 2:00. Paid the entrance fee and started eating. There were a few good Chilies*, a few so-so Chilies, and a surprising number of really bad Chilies. (I'm hardly a connoisseur, but I'm pretty sure Chili is not supposed to taste like a combination of honey, sweet corn, and butt.) I found it interesting that all the Chilies seemed to go pretty light on the spiciness. I'm hardly a capsicum junkie, but I was under the impression that a good Chili should push the hotness envelope without overwhelming the flavor.

The two clear winners as of 4:00 seemed to be Chris's Colorado Chili (which had a smattering of black beans in it, and I know that disqualifies it in the eyes of purists) and Sean Reilly's Irish Chili (No, I had never heard if 'Irish Chili' either. And I was pretty sure that Marxists were dialectically proscribed from making Chili. But it was real good.)

So I was making the rounds, and I hit the table with the Chili submitted by FM. It posed something of a dilemma. I know the chef Winn, and I know that he is pretty competent in the kitchen. But he's still Taiwanese, and Chili is the quintessential American food. So you know... Taiwanese chili..., well, yeah. But Winn had already seen me looking at the pot, and I didn't want to be impolite. I grabbed a bowl.

[First and second bites] Interesting. Very light on the tomato, leading to a very non-traditional taste. But pretty good. Somewhat of a bite, but not too bad,
[Third and forth bites] He's really managed to bring out the flavor of the meat, something that often gets lost in chili with beans. In fact, there is a remarkably subtle layering of flavors working together. I think...
[Fifth bite} ... this might be... HOLY JESUS CHRIST IN HEAVEN! AAAHHGH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! DEAR GOD, DELIVER ME FROM THIS AGONY! PLEASE! I BESEECH THEE! DO NOT FORSAKE THY (as of 20 seconds ago) HUMBLE SERVANT! OH GOD THE PAIN THE PAIN THE PAIN. OOOOHHHHHH!

If anyone tells you that they saw me having an epileptic seizure today, please understand that in spite of the tears, snot, and saliva flying everywhere, I do not in fact have epilepsy (Today's Gran Mal symptoms notwithstanding). It may also be noted that God did not deliver me from mine suffering, relief was obtained through the blessed mercy of half a dozen Coronas. (Unless it was God who delivered his benevolence through the half dozen Coronas. This theology stuff always confuses me).

* Plural of 'chili' should be... 'chilis'? Looks too much like the name of the U.S. chain restaurant.