Chewin in the Chung

Language issues:
How would you translate "the gift that keeps on giving" into Chinese?

What is the difference between a backhoe and an excavator?

Politics:
Over on Ni Howdy, J-Hole tried to bring us Americans a little closer together by asking us to find a policy statement from each presidential candidate with which we can agree. Results were mixed. In the same spirit, I'd like to propose a policy statement that we can all enthusiastically support, with the possible exception of Friedrich Engels over there: Namely, the immediate and fatal waterboarding of Ralph Nader. After Mr. Nader has expired, he is to be resuscitated and then fatally waterboarded again. This procedure is to continue for as many cycles as possible. I plan to have my minions introduce corresponding legislation into both the House and Senate this week.

I. P. Funny
I like Ebay, and am often pleasantly surprised by the variety of stuff you can find there. I am very excited about my next purchase- for only US$20,000,000 not only do I get U.S. patent 6,292,828, but also a big 'ole box of crazy.

I. P. Funnier
I got an Office Action on a patent application. The examiner says that the application contains claims directed to two patentably distinct species, and that I have to choose a single disclosed species for prosecution on the merits to which the claims shall be restricted if no generic claim is finally held to be allowable. This is very hard for me, and I don't know what to do. If only there was something to help me with this electile dysfunction.