Driving Under the Influence

The Setting: Today, 8:10AM. Driving north on Expressway 74, from South Taichung to Taya Township

The Players:
A: Some part of Chaon’s brain
B: Some other part of Chaon’s brain
C: Magical Spirit Guide

A: I hope they send me those case numbers today. It’ll be good if I can send out the draft of that thing, and get everyone to sign off before Shanghai.
B: Yeah, otherwise we’ll be dicking around with hotel business centers and printers and it’ll suck.
A: Like €15 per hour to get e-mail in Cologne
B: Mercenary blockheads
A: And if this is done before we leave for the show, then I’ll have mad leisure that whole week.
B: Wonder if there is a chess club in Shanghai?
A: Should look it up. But I haven’t played chess in like six months. Likely to get smoked.
B: Play Bird’s Opening. You still know that better than most.
A: Tried that in Bangkok and got mauled by the crazy Norwegian. Need a better line against the From.
B: Do this: 1. f4 e5 2. fxe5 d6 3. exd6 bxd6 4. Nf3 g5 5. e5 g4
A: I’ll either lose the knight, or I’ll get screwed by the queen check at h4.
B: You won’t lose the knight, you will gambit the knight. Big difference. And besides, material doesn’t matter.
A: True, but I’ll lose too much tempo avoiding the queen trade after Qxf3 Qxf6.
B. Sit her on d3 and get the rook to the f-file, getting the tempo back.
C. Hey guys, you see that sign up there? It says “Fengyuan next exit”. You know what that means?
A. Shit
B. Goddamit.
A. Fuck.
C. That’s right, it means you missed your exit 5-minutes ago while arguing about a chess game that does not exist. I honestly don’t know how you remember to keep breathing.

[Thirty minutes later]

Boss: You are late again.
A & B: Sorry. There was... uh, too much traffic.