Air Martial

From AP, via FoxNews: 'Dr. 90210' and Passenger Restrain 80-Year-Old on Flight

I do not not know about the referenced TV show, and I am confident that I do not want to know anything about any E! Network reality shows at all. But I do need to learn some effective hand to hand combat techniques*, so I had to study this event:

"When you get a black belt, at that stage your brain just clicks into action," the doctor said. "I restrained this gentleman in a very aggressive way without hurting him. I did what's called a full nelson [tactic] and was able to control him into the seat."

Another passenger helped as the man kicked and screamed, Rey said.

"As I was struggling with him, I was also examining him," Rey said, adding that by checking the man's vital signs he was able to determine he was not having a medical emergency.

The flight attendant "was shook up but not hurt," Rey said.

Flight crew members described the man as "very frail," Sanez said. He had been scheduled to board a connecting flight in Singapore after landing in Los Angeles.

Now I totally want to get my black belt, but I don't want to worry about my brain ever clicking into action. What should I do? And this "full nelson". That sounds like some pretty awesome kung-fu. How many years will I have to study Tae Kwon Do before I can master the "full nelson"? The troublemaker that got subdued was "very frail", but what black belt technique should be used to subdue someone who is not so frail? And is it always necessary to examine the subduee as you struggle with him?

*Last Saturday, a lesbian ninja poured acid into my left eye. And it hurt a lot. Also, I've been thinking about a hostile takeover of The Taichung Voice, and I'll probably have to whip someone's ass to accomplish that.