I was wrong

Evidently, you most certainly can fuck with 4chan.

Many of you may be aware of the current storm looming in the distance. The general chan sphere is being thrown increasingly into chaos by the spambots of Anontalk. 12chan is being spammed to hell. 420 /b/ is a radioactive zone. 99chan is down. 7chan? Have you seen their front page? They told their users to peacefully, and LEGALLY report anontalk.com to their isp. As of 11 pm Eastern Standard Time, pings to 7chan.org have ceased to resolve.

To put it simply, our usually peaceful coexistence has been threatened by a hostile and outside force that is hellbent on our mutual destruction. If there was any shred of a doubt, it should be gone now. We knew about this months ago, and yet nothing was done. And by our inaction we have allowed the problem to grow and grow until it has become something that not even the full combined force of the chans can keep at bay.

The hordes of /b/ raided anontalk a few days ago, in the thousands. Flooding, spamming, all a just recompense for the months of faggotry endured at the hands of anontalk. But nothing prepared them for what awaited, not even Ackbar could have foreseen the trap we had stumbled into. Anontalk.com was the most exploit ridden, malware spewing website that I have seen for as long as I can remember. The effects were swift and brutal. Nothing stood in their way, whether it be firefox, linux, peerguardian or whatever the skiddies used to cover their tracks.

It had come down to the final showdown, and all our overwhelming numbers? they meant nothing. The newfags only served to add minions to the anontalk swarm, bots which were used to crush down 4chan in a fiery orgy of DDOS. Those who escaped fled, stricken with terror, shouting and spamming nonsensically for eyes and ears which remained closed. Few cared or bothered to read the dire warnings, until it was too late.

The worm which they loaded into the newfags computers is a versatile sonuvabitch. It spreads, copies itself, and randomizes its core processes so that it can change and evade the most sophisticated defense mechanisms in real time, all without a central server update. It sends itself through AIM, skype, irc, hamachi, etc. and anyone who has had contact with a victim is vulnerable. It completely takes control of a compromised system, and automatically scans the ports of its next targets, looking, just looking for a way in.

Is it just me, or does the above read like something William Gibson would have written in 1992? Yo! 4chan guys! Get some black ICE!