Things we learned:
*Next year we'll need a more organized way to get 1800 presents onto 50+ vehicles.
*Make sure you have backup barbecue grills you can grab if the first set is late.
*If it had rained we would have been screwed. Find an indoor venue of some sort.
Also last weekend was Taichung's first Texas Hold'em Tournament, held at FM. Bravely representing the Friday night game (as opposed to the bunch of provincials who play on Thursday night) were Pimp, Kevin and Tyler. Somebody please tell me who won, 'cause I had to leave early and I still don't know.
And posted on Forumosa, someone named Frank Alexander allegedly sent the following letter to a bunch of Taiwanese schools:
(WARNING: The following piece is long, stupid, and offensive)
SUBJECT: Why You Should Not Hire South Africans To Teach In Your School.
Dear Owners/Managers;
I am Frank, of HIGHER STANDARDS TAIWAN ASSOCIATION. We are a new, but fast growing group, made up of highly educated people of both Taiwan and Foreign membership. We are a think-tank organization dedicated to improving all areas of life in Taiwan.
Recently, there has been growing concern among the general public over the large number of South Africans teaching in our schools. Indeed, there are well over 2000 South Africans teaching English here in Taiwan. This is not a good thing for two very important reasons.
Firstly, South Africans are not native speakers of English. English is not their first language. Most South Africans speak the AFRIKAAN language which is a mongrel form of the Dutch language. In other words a mongrelization of Dutch. Their accent is absolutely terrible and most North Americans say they have tremendous difficulty in understanding the South Africans. Yet these people are hired to teach in our schools. Our children in Taiwan are learning a form of English which is absolutely unacceptable to real English speaking people. Also, these Afrikaaners have absolutely no grammer skills. It is at the level of a grade six elementary school child in a real English speaking country. Why do you hire these people considering there are many top Taiwanese students graduating from our universities with better accents than the Africaaners and far superior skills in grammer. Is it because the Africaaners have a white face. This?is a racist act against your own Chinese people. A white face does not automatically make a good teacher. There are many students from our universities here in Taiwan, with majors in English, unable to find an English teaching poisition because the South Africans are crawling all over the Island begging for jobs. Yet these same students are much better at English than the South Africans. Because of so many South African Teachers, Taiwanese children are fast learning a form of English with a terrible South African accent.
No, your first choice for a good English teacher must be one with a North American accent-either from the United States of America or Canada. The economic and military power of North America dictates the world and their language also dictates the world. Your second choice for teachers must be those from Britain, New Zealand and Australia. You must try to get real teachers--professional teachers that have been trained to teach, not just any person with a B.A. If you cannot get teachers from these countries then you must hire your own Taiwanese teacher with a major in English and not, I repeat, not a South African teacher.
The second reason for not hiring a South African deals with culture and apartheid. Are you forgetting that, until very recently, South Africans supported a policy of Apartheid. Apartheid is a very offensive policy to any civilized man. In short, it states that all colored races are inferior or lower than the white man and, therefore, they must live separately. The Chinese people were considered colored, under Apartheid, and not allowed to mix with the Africaaners. The Chinese, under Aparthied, were considered an inferior race of people, lower,both in intelligence and physical ability, than the white man. During the years of Aparthied, in South Africa, the Chinese people were badly treated. Yet these same South Africans are here teaching your children. Because of decades of Aparthied, the South Africans
became extremely dishonest, cunning, devious, not to be trusted. In front of you, they are so honest, so kind, so generous, so considerate, but this is just a cover, they are merely sucking for their jobs. All South Africans in Taiwan declare they never supported Aparthied, but by the very fact that they ran away from South Africa proves that they did support Aparthied and they are now on the run. They are afraid to live in South Africa because the black people are hunting them down for their activities during the years of Aparthied. So the next time you see this wonderfully friendly South African, smiling at you,shaking your hand, just a super little angel full of love, remember, he is not friendly, he is just sucking for his job in desperation, and underneath this superficial exterior he is thinking, " here is an
inferior little Chinese and I am going to treat this little shit good so I can get money off him." Already, in Taiwan there are stories going around of a South African MAFIA. Most South Africans are not of good character despite their wonderfully friendly exterior. There are stories of South Africans teaching at two jobs, this is illegal, of South African Directors of schools double dipping, getting their teachers to teach two jobs and taking a part of the money, of South Africans mysteriously losing their passports on arrival in Taiwan and the cover up by S. A. Directors, of illegal S.A. teachers, and on and on it goes. We are presently investigating all these stories and should we find proof we will turn this over, not to the police, but rather to the media.
We strongly advice you not to renew contracts with South African teachers and not to hire any more. Once parents are made aware of this South African problem they will be encouraged to withdraw their children from any school that employs a South African teacher. Why should parents pay such high tuition fees to a school for a third rate South African teacher that can barely speak proper English. This is the very first step towards solving this Africaaner problem here in Taiwan. We will follow this up aggressively. We will keep you posted regards our investigations.
Well that's it. I smell a big, fat hoaxy rat, so I immediately logged onto Forumosa under the handle 'Frank Alexander', and demanded to know what all the fuss was about. But I got busted by a moderator, destroying any good prank chances.
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