Friday, October 25, 2013

Winter of Our Discontent



Brain: Look Body, I need to talk to you about the way you have been reacting to the change in weather. I know it’s getting a bit cooler, but…

Body: COLD COMES! MUST SLEEP MORE!

Brain: Yeah, that’s what we need to talk about. We don’t need to sleep more just because it’s autumn.  

Body: WINTER COMES! MUST EAT ALL OF THE THINGS! MUST SLEEP MORE AND CONSERVE ENERGY!

Brain: We most certainly *do not* need to eat all of the things.

Body: MUST BUILD FAT RESERVES! WINTER COMES! ICE! SNOW! FAMINE! STARVATION!

Brain: OK look, we live in Taipei. There will not be any snow or ice. And the closest we’ve ever come to “famine” is skipping two meals in a row. So I think we should…

Body: SLEEPING MORE! INSIDE SAFE CAVE! NO GO OUT! IS DANGER!

Brain: What are you talking about? What danger?

Body: WOLVES! WOLVES HUNT US IN WINTER! WE STAY IN CAVE SAFE AND SLEEPING!

Brain: That’s ridiculous. We are not going to be hunted by wolves. We are not going to starve. You are trying to act on memories from hundreds of generations ago. We now live in a modern, industrial society where… Hang on a second; I think someone just brought donuts.

Body: EAT! EAT IT ALL! PREPARE FOR THREE MONTHS OF COLD DARKNESS BY EATING EVERYTHING. THEN SLEEPING! EATING AND SLEEPING NOW FOR GREAT SURVIVAL!

Brain: Well, maybe one last time. We'll talk about this again later.

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