Con Carne

Well, I gotta admit that Glenn Beck's Earth Day activities were pretty awesome: gloating over the clearcut of an acre of woodland.

The idea of clear cutting woodland and shooting deer was almost too much for Beck to handle, especially on Earth Day.

“This is not only going to hack off all the environmentalists but all the PETA people, too,” he said.

“I need Barry White music,” he excitedly announced. “This is almost full-fledged light some candles, this is eroticism.”

Nice try Glenn. But my celebration of Earth Day will be much better, and will be enjoyed by all at the AmCham Chili Cookoff this weekend. You see, as one who has devoted his whole life to creating the perfect chili, I have tried all of the traditional meat bases: beef, pork, ostrich, dog, kitten and liberal. But the simple fact remains that the more endangered an animal is, the tastier its meat. So my new Manatee, Panda, Snow Leopard and California Condor Chili with Saffron is a sure thing for first prize this Saturday.