Plagiarism

Kids today have it so easy. Back in the day, if we wanted to plagiarize something, we still had to manually retype the entire passage. None of this mamby-pamby copy and paste. And the typewriters we used were clumsy mechanical contraptions that required about 32 pounds of force to actuate the keys. And the typewriter ribbon would occasionally go all chaos theory on you for no good reason whatsoever, and it would take six weeks of fiddling around with it to get it repositioned. And by then you’d have missed the deadline for the paper you were writing, so you’d have to go ask the professor if you could hand it in late. And he’d say yes, but only if you join his Cthonian Death Cult and prove your loyalty by sacrificing a sibling on the Dark Altar of Hate. And that’s why people had so many children back then, because the average student would go through half a dozen family members just to get a bachelor’s degree.